Philosophical language

"Bibo ergo sum" (I drink, therefore I am)
"Carp Diem" (gone fishing today) "Carp Diem".(sieze the fish)
"Carp Diem" (the fish of the day!)
"Carp Duo" (Batman and Robin went fishing)
"Carpe Denim" (Seize the Pants)
"Carpe Infernum Decorum? " (Who the hell took my rule book?)
"Carpe Jugulum" (sieze the throat)
"Crape Diem" (Shitty Day)
"Coupe de Crass" (ugly car)
"Coup De Gas" (Someone farted at my house.)
"Coup Degas" (buying a famous painting cheap)
"Coup Degauss" (my monitor is doing funny again)
"Coup de Grass" (thatched hut)
"Coupe de Grace" (Grace's car.)
"Coupe de Grass" (mo de lawn)
"Coupe de Grass" (Car in which marijuana is smoked)
"Cogito Ergo Simp" (My mind is...umm what's a mind? )
"Cogito Ergo Sink" (Hey, get off my head!)
"Cogito Ergo Sub" (I think I'll have a sandwich.)
"Cogito Ergo Sub" (My thoughts are below the surface)
"Cogito Ergo Sub" (I've been thinking too hard, I need a sandwich ...)
"Cogito Eggo Sum" (I think, therefore, I am a waffle.
"Cogito Ergo Summit" (I think I'm at the top of a mountain...)
"Cogito Ergo Sumo" (I'm wrestling with my thoughts ...)
"Cogito Ergo Sump" (My mind is in the sewer...)
"Cogito Ergo Stump" (I think, therefore, I am puzzled)
"Cogito Ergo Zoom" (I think, therefore, I drive fast)
"Coito Ergo Cum." (My latin isn't up to intellectual standards, I'm afraid...)
"Coito, Ergo Est" (I copulated, therefore he/she is?)
"Coito Ergo Sum" (I engage in sexual contact, therefore I am?)
"Dulce et decorum est pro Pat Morita" (I love those Karate Kid movies)
"Encino Veritas" (Is this truly California?)
"Espresso, ergo cogito." (as they say in Seattle)
"Hasta la visa" (I'll charge it later)
"I'm pink, therefore I'm Spam" "I am therefore I think." I am thinking, therefore thinking is me.
"In Hock Signo" (I signed over everything to my creditors)
"In Sino Veritas" (The Chinese really know what they're talking about)
"Judge Ito Ergo Sum" (You're a racist, therefore I am innocent...)
"None Illigiti Carborundum" (Don't let the bastards grind you down)
"Scrotum Est" (It's in the bag)
"Semper In Excretio, Solum Profundum Variat" (Always in the shit, only the depth varies)
"Sic Biscuitus Desintegrat" (that's the way the cookie crumbles)
"Sic Semper Tyrannis" (Barney is REALLY ill)
"Veni, V.D., Vici" (I came, I saw, I cankered.)
"Veni, Vid, Visla. " (Have you seen my dog?)
"Veni, Vidi, Cuccuri" (I came, I saw, I ran)
"Veni, Vidi, Vegi" (I came, I saw, I had a salad)
"Veni, Vidi, Velcro" (I came, I saw, I stuck around.)
"Veni, Vidi, Vinny" (I came, I saw, I got an offer I couldn't refuse.)
"Veni, Vidi, Vino" (I came, I saw, I got drunk)
"Veni, Vidi, Visa" (I Came, I Saw, I Bought.)
"Veni, Vidi, Visa" (I Came, I Saw, I Shopped)
"Veni, Vidi, Vista" (I came, I saw, what a great view)
"Vidi Vici Veni" (I saw, I conquered, I came)
"Vidi Vinini Mortis" (I saw Windows was locked up again)
"Vini Vidi Vici V.D." (Boy, was I ever drunk...)
"Volvo, Video, Velcro" (I Came, I Saw, I Stuck Around)

Fractured French

HARLEZ-VOUS FRANCAIS
Can you drive a French motorcycle?
EX POST FUCTO
Lost in the mail
VENI, VIPI, VICI
I came, I'm a very important person, I conquered
COGITO EGGO SUM
I think; therefore I waffle
RIGOR MORRIS
The cat is dead
RESPONDEZ S'IL VOUS PLAID
Honk if you're Scottish
QUE SERA SERF
Life is feudal
LE ROI EST MORT. JIVE LE ROI
The king is dead. No kidding.
MONAGE A TROIS I am three years old
FELIX NAVIDAD
Our cat has a boat
HASTE CUISINE
Fast French food
VENI, VIDI, VICE
I came, I saw, I partied
QUIP PRO QUO
Fast retort
ALOHA OY
Love; greetings; farewell; from such a pain you would never know
VISA LA FRANCE
Don't leave your chateau without it
AMICUS PURIAE
Platonic friend
L'ETAT, C'EST MOO
I'm bossy around here
COGITO, ERGO SPUD
I think, therefore I yam
VENI, VIDI, VELCRO
I came, I saw, I stuck around (OK, another exception)
ICH BIT EIN BERLINER
He deserved it.
ZITGEIST
The Clearasil doesn't quite cover it up.
E PLURIBUS ANUM
In any group, there's always one asshole