-Opening Scene-

(Setting-Monica and Chandler's apartment. Monica, Rachel, Phoebe and Joey are sitting on the couches, seemingly getting ready to watch some tv. We can hear that it is raining pretty hard outside. Ross is bringing a bowl of popcorn over from the kitchen when Chandler walks in, soaking wet from head to toe. He is wearing a suit and tie, and carrying a briefcase, as well as a closed umbrella ironically enough.)

Monica: You're home late.

Chandler: Yeah, tell me about it. I was waiting for a cab so long a poodle stopped to pee on my leg.

Chandler: (with a glaring look) Twice! (as he smacks Ross on the shoulder with the umbrella from behind. Ross looks out blankly and tosses his hands out as if to say, "Was that really necessary?")

Joey: Well what'd you do?? You just stood there??

Chandler: Well, no, I tried to scare it away by swinging around my umbrella.

Joey: And?…

Chandler: (opens umbrella and we see that they are gaping holes ripped through the material) The yippity piece of crap ate it!

Phoebe: Ahh…hence the wetness….

All except Chandler: Ahhh (in unison, as they genuinely begin to understand why Chandler is wet; Chandler puts on an annoyed fake smile)

Chandler: (walks over to couch and kisses Monica on cheek from behind) Anyway, what are you guys up to?

Monica: We were gonna go catch a movie but then it started to rain so we're just watching one on t.v. instead.

Chandler: What movie?

Ross: The Devil and Daniel Webster, wanna watch?

Chandler: (hesitating)…Nah, that's ok, I've seen it before.

Joey: Aw, C'mon Chandler, it's a classic.

Chandler: (Narrows eyes and looks at Joey as if to say "How would you know that?")

Joey: (defensively, yet not truly believing himself, as his eyes widen and his face seems serious) Hey-I'm cultured…I know what I'm talking about!

Chandler: (continues giving Joey the same look, only tilting head and narrowing eyes slightly more, still not believing Joey)

Joey: (stares Chandler down for a few seconds and then gives in and turns away) …ALRIGHT….Monica told me….

Chandler: That's ok-I'm really too tired for a movie and I never really liked the ending anyway.

Monica: C'mon Chandler. I've seen it before too, and its really not that long.

Chandler: (pauses) That's so not the kind of thing a guy likes to hear his wife say.

(all except Chandler smile at his remark and Chandler sits down begrudgingly at the end of the couch)

Rachel: Oooh! The baby's kicking!

Phoebe: Hey!-the baby's laughing at Chandler!

All except Chandler: Aawwww (gushingly)

Joey: (heartfelt and seemingly about to tear up, as he pokes Rachel's stomach) Welcome to the world kiddo.

Chandler: (Turns away in defeat)

-End of scene-

-Scene Two-

(Setting-The next morning. Chandler walks out of his room in his pajamas and sees Ross asleep on the couch with his mouth on the corner of the pillow. He apparently fell asleep there after the movie. Chandler walks over, amused and stands right in front of Ross. He then throws pieces of popcorn at Ross's head until Ross begins to wake up)

Ross: (He opens his eyes and his head shoots up as he looks outwards in a very disoriented manner. He mumbles a few unintelligible words and says "Huh?" Then he looks up and sees Chandler, realizing now what's going on.)

Chandler: (matter-of-factly) Fell asleep on the couch?

Ross: (half-awake and trying to regain his thoughts) I had a dream I was eating a giant marshmallow.

Chandler: (jokingly) Well that explains why half my pillow is hanging from your lip.

Ross: (touches his lip and does a double take, removing a giant glob of cotton from his mouth) Sorry…

Chandler: Eh, it's alright, at least we have another.

(They then both then look in unison at the floor and the camera angle changes to show more cotton scattered about)

Chandler: Or not. (pauses a moment) Well it could've been worse. At least you didn't dream you were eating an ice-cream sandwich-I'm really tired of losing the remote control.

(Chandler sits down on the couch next to Ross…After a few seconds he speaks)

Chandler: Ross…there was something I've been meaning to talk to you about.

Ross: Sure, what is it?

Chandler: Well, I didn't mention it earlier because I didn't wanna come off as stingy or pushy…but you kinda owe me something…

Ross: (surprised but embarrassed) Really? Man…I'm sorry…what was it?…Did I forget to get you back for that pizza last week?

Chandler: (beating around the bush) No….no, u paid me for that…Actually, you owe me something a little more…substantial…

Ross: Well what is it?

Chandler: Ross, I don't know how to break it to you, but I'm the devil and you sold me your soul.

Ross: (smiling and scoffing) Ha, your, your kidding right? Please tell me your joking. Look I know you've been under stress and work but this is a little…

Chandler: (Interjects sharply) Ross! No-I'm not kidding. (He gives Ross a very frank look)

Ross: (staring at Chandler and turning head, trying to re-assess what he has just heard) Are you listening to what you're saying? You could not sound more ridiculous. You could try-but you would not be successful…

Chandler: Hey Ross, listen! I understand alright that you're in denial but I'm done playing around. It's time to give me your soul.

Ross: (now stern and serious) Chandler, when the hell did I promise you my soul?

Chandler: Don't you remember? It was way back in season three, right after Rachel broke up with you for sleeping with the copy girl. You were upset and we were at your apartment talking…

(Flashback-Ross and Chandler are at Ross's place. Ross is sitting dejectedly on the couch, and Chandler is sitting on the coffee table facing Ross)

Ross: (Whiningly, and genuinely sad) Dude, what am I gonna do? I can't believe it's over-it can't be over. How can I not be with Rachel?

Chandler: (sympathetically) I'm sorry man-hey, maybe she was just mad. Maybe she'll wake up tomorrow and change her mind. You never know.

Ross: (crankily snaps back) You never know? You never know?! What kinda crap is that?

Chandler: (defensively snaps back) Hey-am I the one who cheated on Rachel with the copy girl??

Ross: (raising voice) WE WERE ON A BREAK!!!

(They're both silent for a moment)

Ross: I'm sorry man, I shouldn't have snapped at you. I know it's not your fault…

Chandler: (gets up and sits down on the couch next to Ross, putting his hand on his friend's shoulder) Hey man, don't worry about it…I know this is really hard for you.

Ross: (quietly and very sincerely) I just wish none of this ever happened…I don't know what I'm gonna do. I need to be with Rachel…(pauses) I had such big plans for us-We were gonna get married, have kids, maybe move out of the city one day…(pauses) And now we may never have that-we'll never be able to start a family together…I'd sell my soul for another shot at it-I'd give up anything! She's the only thing I need.

Chandler: I know man, I know. (Chandler pats Ross on the shoulder as Ross lets his head hang down) (Chandler looks contemplative for a moment and then he looks up and blurts out-) You know what, man?-cheer up. I know it's hard but I have a funny feeling about you two; I really do. And if there's anything I can do, just let me know. I'm here for you.

Ross: (reluctantly smiles) Thanks man. I appreciate the offer; I guess there's always hope…

Ross: Are you kidding me? That's why I owe you my soul?! It doesn't make any sense-I didn't even sign a contract!

Chandler: (with a deceitful and charming delivery) Ross, we've been friends since college. We known each other practically forever…I didn't need a contract-I took you at your word.

Ross: You tricked me!

Chandler: (mitigatingly) Hey, hey, let's keep this civil-we're both gentleman. I did not trick you, and I didn't force you into anything. I merely…fielded your request and fulfilled it.

Ross: But Rachel and I aren't even together. You didn't do anything.

Chandler: Sure I did. You wanted to have a family with Rachel, right? Well now she's pregnant with your baby. True, you may not be married to her, but I never said I would do that.

Ross: This isn't the way I wanted it! I wanted…

Chandler: (interjects) Ross, you were always a man of words-never a man of action. That was your problem…all talk. You wanted Rachel back, but you were never gonna make it happen. So I had to give you…a little push.

Ross: A push?

Chandler: Do you remember how Rachel got pregnant?

Ross: (ashamed) Well, yea, it was a big mistake. We both got really drunk one night after we finished a whole bottle of Bacardi Limon. We got back to my place and stuff just…happened…But it was our mistake. You had nothing to do with it!

Chandler: Oh no? Where did you get the Bacardi from?

Ross: (thinks to himself for a moment, and then speaks softly to himself as he comes to a realization) It was…it was…

Chandler: It was a gift! From me!!

Ross: …you said it was an early birthday present…and I wasn't sure why you would give me a gift so far in advance…

Chandler: That's right…it was to celebrate the birthday of your daughter!

Ross: I can't believe it, Chandler!-how could you do this to me? It's not fair!

Chandler: Fair? Who's to say what's fair?-certainly not you. Now, as for your soul…

Ross: Hey I deserve another chance. Let me win it back. Chandler-just one more chance.

Chandler: Well I already have your soul…What more do you have to offer me?

(Ross is silent)

Chandler: Perhaps…perhaps there is something even more dear to you…

Ross: No-not my child!

Chandler: Your child? Please…(scoffing) That is so Rosemary's Baby…And you know as well as I do that I am just not at that point in my life where I'm ready to deal with children.

Ross: Then what?

Chandler: Your apartment!

Ross: (Ross is ready to shout in protest, before considering what Chandler has said. Then confusedly and notably subdued, he responds-) My apartment? Of everything that I have and that's important to me, you want my apartment???…

Chandler: Hey man!-You don't realize how great that place is! It's spacious, it's sheik…It's in a safe neighborhood in a building with a doorman! And for God's sake, it's rent control!

Ross: …Ok…I guess…?

Chandler: Ok, so here's what we're gonna do. We'll play one game of foosball, just you and me. Winner takes all…

Ross: Foosball?-No way! You've had way more practice than me. No-I want a trial. (attempting to be stern)

Chandler: (scoffing) Don't kid yourself-you don't have the leverage to make demands like that.

Ross: No leverage? Your wife is my sister! …and she can kick… your… ass! (enunciated each of the last three words) - Mon!!!!! (hastily calling out to Monica)

Chandler: (Chandler all of a sudden seems very frightened and willing to negotiate. He puts his hands up as if to tell Ross to quiet down) Ok, ok, shhh, fine... You had to be a crybaby…Well, fine then, you'll get your trial. …Just be at Central Perk tonight at 6:00 PM sharp. And remember, I'll pick the jury!

Ross: (Ross looks back spitefully and nods) Oh, I'll be there.

(Chandler all of a sudden loses his devilish glare and seems to relax. As if nothing had just happened, Chandler smiles and says-)

Chandler: Alright man, I'm glad we had this talk (as he pats Ross on the back). Well, I gotta get dressed. Do me a favor and toss the trash in the chute on your way out? Thanks, man. (Chandler walks nonchalantly back into his room and Ross stands there dumbfounded)

-End of scene-

-Scene Three-

(Setting-Central Perk. The whole place is relatively crowded and lively. Ross, Rachel, Joey, Monica, and Phoebe are sitting around on the couches and having a conversation. The shot opens in the middle of their conversation. It is clear that Ross has told everyone about his encounter with Chandler and they are there to support him.)

Rachel: You know, it's funny…(sips latte)…I always figured that if any of us were the Devil, it'd be Monica. (said flippantly)

Monica: (mouth wide open in shock; she is clearly insulted) What?!

Phoebe: (jumps in excitedly) Yea, you know what? She's right, I can so see it.

(Monica's glare turns to Phoebe)

Phoebe: And the whole Monica-Moniker thing. How slyly cryptic-I cant believe I never noticed before!

Joey: Yea, good call Pheebs. (He looks at Phoebe and nods. Phoebe smiles in delight with herself.)

Monica: Joey!

Ross: (chiming in with a contemplative look on his face) She always was a strange girl. (looks around to the others) …The thirst for competition and control…eh?…

All except Monica, in harmony: "yea" "so true" "oh yea" (As they all look peculiarly and suspiciously at Monica)

Monica: (clearly angry and annoyed…She pauses and looks uneasy, before blurting out-) Yea?!…Well at least I didn't sell my soul to the devil for the unplanned conception of an illegitimate child!!

All except Monica and Ross: "yea, that's pretty funny too." (As they all turn and look back at Ross)

(Ross quickly shuts up and looks down in embarrassment, his bubble clearly burst. Monica crosses her arms, satisfied with her snappy comeback.)

(A few moments later, we hear the loud, spooky swooshing of wind. The tables start to shake and the cups chatter. Then all of a sudden, it's dark. The five friends look around and realize that everyone else in Central Perk has disappeared; they are all alone.)

(Chandler enters through the door. He is now sporting a pointy goatee and a shiny red cape, the Urban Outfitters tag still hanging off the back of it. For a few seconds there is an eerie, foreboding silence. Then, completely breaking the tension and silence, Gunther comes walking out of the bathroom whistling. He is completely aloof to what is going on, as he begins to walk to the counter. As he reaches down to zip up his fly, he looks up and notices the dark room and everybody staring at him. He stops dead in his tracks and stops whistling, clearly confused. He then loudly zips up his fly and asks-)

Gunther: (very confused) How long was I in there?

(They all stare at him with annoyed looks but nobody responds to his question. He points to himself with one hand and the counter with the other as if to say-"Don't mind me; I'll just be over there, out of your hair.")

(Then everyone's attention focuses on Chandler, who takes the forum to speak. They stare uneasily waiting to hear what he has to say.)

Chandler: (Begins to speak with a confidant and condescending air.) Well, I think we all know why we're here tonight. Ross Gellar is in possession of something that rightfully belongs to me-his SOUL. As proof that even I, the very Devil, can be merciful, I have granted Ross a trial at his request. Be warned however, that, in his desire for a trial, Ross has potentially signed over much more than his soul. If Ross fails to convince the jury I have assembled of his innocence-as I am confidant he will-well then I will acquire not only Ross's SOUL, but his…(Chandler looks around at the crowd to build the suspense, as he, himself, seems very excited by what he is about to say. All the friends except for Ross look to Chandler with wide-eyed anticipation.)…APARTMENT!!!

(Monica, Joey, Phoebe and Rachel all look confused and then turn to Ross for clarification. Ross turns to the other friends with a blank expression of irritation.)

Monica: (to Chandler) Honey, don't take this the wrong way but…(bitingly) what kind of moron are you?

Chandler: (turn's to Monica and breaks from his pompous speech momentarily) It's rent-control! (defensively)

Monica: (dismissingly) Whatever…(to herself) I'm married to a freak…

Joey: (disappointed) Chandler, how come you never told me you were Satan?

Chandler: Joey, I'm kind of in the middle of something here.

Joey: But I thought we were best friends.

Chandler: (rolls eyes and tosses hands out as if impatiently giving a concession) You can be my minion.

Joey: Really? Cool…(seems flattered and smiles widely like a child, then turns to Phoebe and gives a thumbs up)

Phoebe: (condescendingly) Yea, great Joey.

Ross: (frustrated) Can we get on with this?

(Chandler raises finger as if to begin speaking, but he is interrupted)

Rachel: (Annoyed) You know, I'm the one who's pregnant here. I think I should be able to speak…

(Chandler begrudgingly gestures for her to go ahead)

Rachel: (with a scolding tone) Chandler-I want you to know that I'm very angry with you! You don't just go around…ya know…tricking your friends into… (flustered)…impregnating your other friends. It's not…nice! (crosses her arms as a show that she has said her peace.)

Phoebe: Well I have a question.

Chandler: What, Phoebes.

Phoebe: What if I don't believe you're the Devil. Isn't the Devil supposed to have horns and a tail?

Chandler: I used to have a nubbin-does that do it for ya?

Phoebe: (thinks about his response and seems satisfied at first, but then darts back-) No-I mean, isn't the Devil supposed to live in Hell? With fire, and chains, and other little Devil-lackie-type-people? You live in Manhattan, in a really comfortable apartment. Your living room smells like potpourri!

Chandler: (jabs back) Why this is Hell nor am I out of it. (He then mutters to himself-) Closed-minded conventional conceptions of Hell…

Phoebe: (with a confused look, having not understood what he said) Huh?

Chandler: (speaks to all of them) Do you think that, I-who have suffered so much-can ever truly be free of the chains of Hell? (bitterly and earnestly) My whole life, I've been a walking punch-line. (He slumps down into a seat to pour out his heart, as Monica rubs him on the back) My first name…doesn't make any sense whatsoever. It sounds kinda

Like chandelier, (looks angrily at Joey) but not really…My last name sounds like sound an antenna makes when you flick it. I mean-I was screwed right from birth. Then there were my teenage years, when I had to learn to deal with my parents-one of whom was an alcoholic blond who went around chasing after twenty-year-old boys…the other one being my mom… Then there's the fact that I seem to mess up everything good that comes my way…the fact that people who meet me for whatever reason assume that I'm gay… And!…I use humor as a defense mechanism to cover up all my emotional pain and scars.

Joey: Wow dude, your life does suck.

Phoebe: No-Joeeey (as if too hush him)…Chandler, you aren't in Hell…What about Monica? You're happily married!

Monica: Yeah Chandler, what about me?

Chandler: (apologetic and embarrassed) Look, Mon, I didn't wanna say anything…but I just can't take it anymore. I mean, sure, we love each other and we have great physical chemistry…but I just can't take living with you anymore. Everything has to always be in its right place, nothing can be dirty…Last week I forgot which shelf you like the wine glasses to go on and I couldn't fall asleep…I love you, but I cant live with you anymore. Why do you think I'm so interested in Ross's apartment? You're just too anal!

Rachel: (to herself) …so true…

Monica: Hey, that's not fair. I put up with a lot of crap from you too!

Chandler: Well, I'm sorry, but I just can't take it. Your quirks are just too much for me!

Phoebe: Wow, the Devil's afraid of Monica. She's such a bad-ass.

Ross: (to Chandler) Hey man-that's my sister you're talking about! I'd kick your ass…(Ross pauses when Chandler looks at Ross as if to say "oh, really")…if you weren't in control of the fate of my soul (said timidly)…

(Chandler gets tired of the emotional charade and stands up quickly)

Chandler: Ok, enough of these diversions…I'm the Devil and if you guys don't believe me you can all go to Hell! Now-on with the trial. Ross, meet your jury. I thought long and hard to come up with a group of people who, by the very nature of their connection to you, don't like you very much…

Ross: (scared) You don't mean…

Chandler: (interjects) That's right!-your ex-lovers!

(Chandler holds his arm out to draw the groups attention to the door, as the jurors enter one by one, each introduced by Chandler as they enter. As they enter, the jurors make eye-contact with Ross but do not speak.)

Chandler: Meet your jury…Carol-your first wife-and her lesbian lover, Susan! (They walk in, holding hands, and Susan stares snidely at Ross)…Emily, your second wife, whom you called "Rachel" during the wedding vows! (Rachel, clearly still embarrassed from the episode, looks down as Emily enters)…Julie, your perfect ex-girlfriend whom you left high and dry just because she wasn't your best option!…Janice, who…

(Chandler does a double take, and interrupts his own speech.)

Chandler: Janice?? What are you doing here? You were my girlfriend!

Janice: Yea, I was-my sweet Chandler…but they were running low on jurors and the writers were pressed for ideas… Besides, this is a starring role for you. You didn't thing I'd miss your big daaaaaay, did you?

Chandler: Fine, I guess…just bring in the last juror…

(In walks Marcel the monkey, Ross's former pet)

Chandler: Marcel??!! (To Ross) A monkey???! You made love to your monkey????!!!!!

Ross: (unashamed and confidant) Hey-don't act so surprised…It's not like you never spent some quality "alone time" with your monkey.

Chandler: (utterly disgusted) Oh God, that's it!! (pointing accusingly at Ross) Screw the trial-Your going to Hell just for the monkey!!

Chandler: Ok, Ross…you sick sick man…If there's anything you wanna say to the jury, now's your chance. They've already been briefed them with my argument.

Ross: (turns and looks repentively to the jurors, who are now standing lined up in front of the counter) Well…guys…I just wanna say first off that I'm sorry for whatever pain or harm I've caused any of you-I never intended to do anything that would make you hate me…really. That said, I think you should know that Chandler totally tricked me into this whole thing! He bought me the alcohol, gave me "a push"…I have to say…I feel a little (gulp) violated…

Rachel: (blurts out angrily) Chandler used us! And now…now I'm having a baby, and (pauses to try to fake cry)…and I not even married!

(The jury sees through the act and looks unmoved)

Ross: It's alright Rach. (Turns back to jury) Look, guys, I don't know what else to say. …just…please…PLEASE give me another chance. I swear-I'll be more careful from now on. I'll never trust this jerk (pointing to Chandler) again!

Emily: Ok Ross, we've heard you. (To everyone) Is there anyone who has anything relevant they'd like to add?

(cut to a shot of behind the counter, where Gunther is hunched over by himself, unaware that the others can hear what he says)

Gunther: (to himself, with eyes closed) I'd sell my soul to be with Rachel! I'd sell my soul to be with Rachel!

(The jurors turn back and look scoldingly and annoyed at Gunther. Gunther then opens one eye and sees them staring, and hhis shoulders slump in embarrassment)

Gunther: (embarrassed) …sorry…

(The jurors then turn back around to face the rest of the crowd)

Emily: Ok then, give us a moment to come to a decision in the case of Ross Gellar vs. Chandler Bing a.k.a "Satan."

(They huddle to confer, as everyone nervously watches. The camera pans across close-ups of everybody's face to show the tension that is building. After a few minutes the huddle ends and the jurors face the accused Ross as well as Chandler, the accuser.)

Emily: We have come to a decision…Ross, on the charge of selling your soul to the Devil, we find you…NOT-GUILTY.

(Ross, and all the friends except Chandler jump up and cheer, hugging each other and screaming in jubilation.)

Chandler: (Furious, speaking to the jury) What the Hell!! That is such crap! How can you find him INNOCENT??? He was so not innocent!

Emily: If you will all settle down for a moment-we are not done with our verdict.

Chandler: What??

Emily: Matthew Perry, on the charge of chronic tardiness to work, we find you…GUILTY!

Matthew Perry: (Perry looks around, completely freaked out, not knowing why the actress is using his real name, and why everyone else is just starting at him blankly.) What the hell is going on here???!! Are we still filming?! Cut! What the hell?!!!

Emily: (unphased) On the charge of failing to sustain our interest in your character in recent episodes, we find you…GUILTY!!

(Perry starts hyperventilating and falls down. He looks as though he has seen a ghost)

Emily: (her voice growing louder and seemingly echoing throughout the set) On the charge of OVERACTING…GUILTYYYY!!!!!!

(Perry now looks like he is about to faint.)

Emily: For your crimes, you are sentenced to a career of television type casting and roles in over-hyped feature-film commercial flops! There will be nothing more.

(The jurors walk over to Perry in unison and each grabs an arm or a leg. Perry continues to freak out and starts swinging himself around wildly trying to break free.)

Perry: Nooo! Nooooo!!!

All jurors, in unison: (in an eerily calm tone) Be still.

(The jurors proceed to march out of Central Perk carrying Matthew Perry, as he tries to jerk himself free and babbles unintelligibly. The rest of the friends don't seem to have much of a reaction. They all stand facing the door, and wave slowly to Perry in unison but saying nothing. As Perry is carried past the door, Gunther all of a sudden stands up aloofly from behind the counter.)

Gunther: (without much emotion) Bye Chandler. (Gunther begins to wave with the erst of the cast.)

(We see the door slam shut with a loud noise, and the shot ends on that sound. The shot we see immediately after is of Matthew Perry, apparently in bed in his own home, waking from his sleep and shoots up to a seated position. He is panting heavily and his eyes are wide open, darting around in paranoia. There is sweat dripping down his forehead and he is very disorienting. After a few breaths, he looks around to regain his sense of where he is. He pauses for a moment to let his breathing go back to normal and then talks to himself-)

Perry: (as his fear gives way to relief) Oh Thank God, it was only a dream. Christ, it was just a dream. What a dream though…

(Perry closes his eyes and smiles to himself. He slowly leans back and turns to his side, moving around a little so that the side of his head feels snug against the pillow. He is ready to enjoy the rest of his sleep and the smile of relief seems painted on his face. We see a shot of his face from a three-quarter angle, as he opens his eyes just barely. He does a double take and his eyes open wide in shock. His expression goes numb as his smile fades and his jaw drops. The camera pulls up and turns so that it is now a profile shot from above. We see that Matthew Perry is looking across into the eyes of his unexpected bedmate, who is looking right back at Perry from six inches away. It is, alas, a smiling Marcel the Monkey.)

-End of Scene-

-Final Blurb-

*note-final scene done in one continuous shot, with a roaming camera.

(Setting-Warner Bros. Studios. Burbank, CA. We see the production crew sliding the various pieces of the sets away, going about their business. The camera slowly pans to let us see the artificial lighting, the thin plywood walls, and the various agents, writers and make-up artists. Then David Schwimmer walks into the shot, followed momentarily by Jennifer Aniston. They have gathered their belongings and are leaving the building together. The camera changes course and follows them as they walk outside through the streets of the Studio, entering us into their conversation.)

Schwimmer: (seemingly annoyed) I don't know, this is starting to get ridiculous.

Aniston: How do you mean?

Schwimmer: Are you kidding? The writing is just getting ridiculous…each episode is worse than the last.

Aniston: Well, honey, what do you expect? They ran out of worthwhile things to write long ago. It was inevitable.

Schwimmer: Yeah, hit our peak in season five and it was just downhill from there, shoulda seen it coming…

Aniston: (nods in agreement/appeasement)

Schwimmer: (noticeably more annoyed) I mean, seriously, what does it take to get a decent script. They supposedly can afford the best writers, and yet we keep on getting these Mickey Mouse Scripts. Who the hell thinks up this crap??

Aniston: (calmly) Who would believe it, that's the better question…It's all out of left field…But that's what we get for staying on the air too long. I mean, whatever-as long as the public is still watching, I guess who are we to complain?

Schwimmer: (self-righteously) No-no. Hey, I am an actor, but I'm an artist too. I didn't get into this business to be in my late thirties and still working with scripts that read like they were written by college-no, wait-high school students. Where's the artistic integrity? They had me having sex with a monkey? Do you know what that can do to my career? How can I look myself in the mirror after doing scripts like that? Seriously…

Aniston: (Now a little miffed, herself) Well, hey, at least you were one of the featured characters. I was pregnant with your baby and they barely let me get two lines out…I swear, you know, call me paranoid, but I think they're gonna write me off…

Schwimmer: (Disagreeing) C'moooonnn……

Aniston: (self-assured) ..Just a feeling I've got…I can't say where these things come from…they just come to me….

Schwimmer: Really, I don't think you have anything to worry about…but anyway, if you ask me, I don't think we should have ever signed those contract extensions…One more year of this show? It's gonna do us all in, just watch…That's my feeling.

Aniston: Yeah, well you weren't saying much when they threw the money at us. Neither did I, I know…All I'm saying is that it's a done deal and it's a decision we're just gonna have to deal with.

Schwimmer: Yeah, I guess your right…

(They approach their cars, which are parked adjacently. They each walk up to their respective car doors.)

Schwimmer: Alright, see you next week, k?

Aniston: Sure will, hun.

(They get in and pull away one at a time. The camera stops moving and remains still while the cars pull out and drive away, one at a time. Schwimmer's red Corvette is followed by Aniston's black Lexus. The camera then moves back and rises slowly, ending with us seeing an overhead view of the studio, with blue skies blanketing the town.)