A man is sitting at a crowded, small desk. 'Paul Thanzera, Public Defender' is written on the window of the door. He's searching through what seems to be endless piles of paper. A young woman is sitting in an even smaller desk across from him. There are McDonald's wrappers scattered on each of their desks. It's 3:23 AM.

Wendy: It's hopeless you know. We're not gonna be prepared by tomorrow morning. This is impossible. (She exhales and puts her head down on the desk)

Paul: Look, you can go home, at least get a couple hours of sleep. But I'm not giving up on this guy, I know he didn't do it. I don't give a shit if I don't sleep a wink, because otherwise, the DA's gonna nail his ass for something he didn't do.

Wendy: But they just gave us his file this morning, they can't possibly expect us to do his case over night. We'll just get a postponement.

Paul: And what if we can't, huh? What if the judge doesn't grant it, then we're going to have to do his case right then and there, in five hours!

Wendy: I know, but I have to pick my daughter up, I can't ask the babysitter to keep her overnight, I don't have a choice.

Paul: It's ok. Go. I'll handle it.

Wendy: No, but…

Paul: I'm serious, just go, I'll take care of it. Go pick your daughter up, try and get some sleep. I'll see you tomorrow morning.

Wendy: I'm sorry Paul, but you know I really can't…

Paul: Don't worry about it, get outta here, I'll be fine.

Wendy: Try and sleep, will you? I'll see you tomorrow.

Paul: Goodnight Wendy.

Wendy grabs her coat, briefcase, and purse and leaves the room. Moments later, there's a knock at the door.

Paul: Why are you knocking, just come in Wendy! Did you forget something?

Benedict: (from behind the door) It's not Wendy, but a visitor.

Paul: Well, then come in, the one who isn't Wendy. (Benedict enters) Can I help you?

Benedict: Actually, it is I who can help you.

Paul: Really? I didn't know Jehovah's witnesses made visits this late at night.

Benedict: I am not Jehovah's witness, on the contrary, I am Jehovah's accuser.

Paul: Well I'm sorry, there is no Jehovah here for you to accuse, so I'm afraid I can't help you.

Benedict: I said I'm here to help you, remember?

Paul: And who are you again?

Benedict: Do names really matter? Let's just say I've been known to strike a deal or two, I've got a few souls under my belt.

Paul: So let me guess, you're the devil? That which negates, and that which eternally wills evil but…(Benedict interrupts him)

Benedict: Yeah, yeah, yeah, all that shit. That's me. I see someone knows their Goethe.

Paul: I used to be a writer, got an English degree and all.

Benedict: Really? How the hell did you end up here? Couldn't hack it, no creativity? I can help that, you know?

Paul: I became a writer to reach people, to help them. I wanted to make a difference in peoples' lives. But words only go so far, and I realized that although my writing was a good escape for people, it really wasn't changing anyone's life. So I wrote enough novels to put me through law school and I became a lawyer, where I can really get out there and do some good.

Benedict: Sounds like crap to me, but who am I to judge? Anyway, I don't really care about all that, I'm here to make a deal.

Paul: I'm sorry, but you're barking up the wrong tree. I don't have any self-serving goals. And besides, you're full of shit anyway. I'm supposed to believe you're the devil? I don't even believe in God!

Benedict: I'm not the devil, but a devil. And making yourself feel good by helping others is still self-serving.

Paul: You're a devil? Let me guess, Mephistopheles?

Benedict: Mephistopheles! God damn it, why is that everyone always writes about him, Mephistopheles this, and Mephistopheles that! You never hear about me in anyone's story! And you know what, he fucked up anyway, because he was supposed to get Faust's soul, and he didn't, but yet he still gets the stories!

Paul: So you're not Mephistopheles?

Benedict: Hell no! Mephistopheles works Europe, and that's not even his real name anyway, it's Gregory. My name is Benedict, if you must know.

Paul: What are you monks? Gregory and Benedict?

Benedict: Ha, ha, ha, very funny, smart ass. And where'd you get a name like Paul?

That's really original.

Paul: Fuck if I know! I never met my parents. I was an orphan.

Benedict: Wow, such foul language!

Paul: Shut up. They're just words anyway, they don't mean anything.

Benedict: Yeah whatever, so anyway, I've been watching you closely, and you always seem to be fighting fruitless battle after fruitless battle, and I thought to myself, being the nice fellow that I am, 'Hey, I can really help this guy.' So here I am, and here you are: fighting for nothing.

Paul: I'm not fighting for nothing. I'm trying to help people. There's nothing but suffering in this world and I'm…(Benedict cuts him off)

Benedict: Yeah, that's all nice and everything, but you know, it could be a lot better than this?

Paul: What could? The world, or my life?

Benedict: Your life. Of course not the world, it's a pretty shitty place, you're right on with that suffering. Man, I know just how humans feel: God makes the place, says a few things, and then turns his back. He thinks sending His Son down for a couple years will make a difference? I mean, don't get me wrong, Jesus taught some really swell shit, but He should have known once it got into human hands, it would turn to crap, and one might even argue that it has done more harm than good. Don't even get me started on the Catholic Church, even I don't condone pedophiles.

Paul: Wait, you mean, Jesus really was God's Son?

Benedict: Sure! You don't think a basic human could pull off the shit He did, do you? He was something else! Man! What a guy! Nice as can be too. If the whole world listened to Him, it'd be a whole different ballgame. I'd be out of a job!

Paul: Yeah, what a guy…(Paul's mind is obviously somewhere else)

Benedict: So orphan boy, yoo-hoo? Where'd you go there? Thinking about all the pussy you'll get once we're buddies?

Paul: What? What are you talking about? Why am I even talking to you? I don't even know who you are or what you're doing here!

Benedict: I told you who I am. What can I do to convince you?

Paul: Pretty much nothing short of a miracle. I am a lawyer after all, and I don't accept anything but facts.

Benedict: Fair enough, miracles aren't as hard to come by as you think they are. (He snaps his fingers, and poof, they're gone)

Benedict and Paul are on top of Calvary. Before them are three men on crosses. Paul, as soon as he realizes where he is, is horrified and makes noises that indicate this.

Benedict: Believe me now tough guy?

Paul: Fine, yes, yes, just get me the hell out of here.

Benedict: Not until you take me seriously. Do you believe me?

Paul: Yes, I believe you! Just get me out of here! (Benedict again snaps his fingers, and they are back in Paul's office)

Benedict: So how was that for a miracle?

Paul: I could think of some better ones.

Benedict: Are you serious? I know people who would kill to see that. You should feel privileged, you just got to witness one of the greatest tricks ever!

Paul: You mean by the devil?

Benedict: No, no, by God. God pulled the stunt. Satan thought he had it worked out so well. He set up Judas and Pilate, to get rid of Jesus, and it turned out that God set him up, and then Christianity took off. When you meet him, don't mention it though, it really gets under his skin. So, now that you know who I am, let's talk business.

Paul: Look, I already told you I'm not interested! I don't want money, I don't want fame, I don't want pussy, I don't want anything you can give me. So, unless you can think of a way for me to hel… (he stops mid-sentence, and pauses for a moment) Actually, you know what, I've got work to do, come back here tomorrow night, and we'll see if we can work something out.

Benedict: Alright, now we're talking. What time should I be here?

Paul: 2 AM. Don't be late. A decent man is punctual.

Benedict: I'll be here, 2 AM sharp, but a decent man, I will not.

Paul: Fine, fine. Just be there, ok?

Benedict: Great, I'll mark that appointment in my calendar along with my other 2 o'clocks. You do realize that tomorrow's Christmas Eve though? Will this be a problem?

Paul: No. I don't have any family or close friends. And I'm not religious. Just another day for me.

Benedict: Good, just another day for me too! I'll see you tomorrow. Good luck with that case. (Benedict smiles, and just like that, he's gone)

Paul is sitting at his desk. He's leaning back, stretched out in his chair, with his hands behind his head, and a smile on his face. It's 1:59:56 AM. There's a knock at the door.

Benedict: (from behind the door) Knock, Knock sweetheart. It's your good friend Benedict.

Paul: Come in. And I already told you I don't have any good friends.

Benedict: You do now. (As he steps into the room)

Paul: I'm impressed, you're a man of your word. It's exactly 2 AM.

Benedict: The early bird gets his soul! So, how'd you make out this morning?

Paul: Not guilty. He didn't do it.

Benedict: Everybody's guilty, but let's not go there. So, why are we meeting so late? Don't you have a little lady up worrying when you'll come home?

Paul: Nope. No girlfriend.

Benedict: Not even a little something, something on the side?

Paul: No. I said I have no girlfriend!

Benedict: Touchy, touchy! We need to get you a woman, and fast!

Paul: No, no Gretchen in my life story. I don't have time for it.

Benedict: So what do you have time for?

Paul: Look, are we gonna make a deal or not?

Benedict: Wow, no foreplay, you cut right to the chase, I can see why you have no girlfriend. (Benedict then smiles)

Paul: Whatever. Look, I already typed up a contract this afternoon. So what? I have to sign it in blood or something?

Benedict: Whoa, slow down there cowboy. We make the contracts, then you sign it in blood.

Paul: If it's not my contract, I won't sign.

Benedict: Ok, ok. I'll have to ask the boss about this one. (Just then the Devil himself appears before them) Mr. Thanzera, I'd like you to meet my boss, …

Paul: Satan!

Scratch: Satan? Where've you been man, I go by the name of Itch around these parts!

Benedict: Umm, actually sir, your name is Scratch.

Scratch: Scratch!?! What the hell kinda name is that?

Benedict: I'm sorry sir, but that's just what they call you here.

Scratch: My name should be Itch, not Scratch! Scratch is the solution to an Itch! I'm not the solution, I'm the annoyance, the annoyance should be Itch! Itch! Not Scratch! God-damn Benet!

Paul: Who?

Scratch: Never mind that. So what's the problem?

Benedict: He won't sign any contract, except his own.

Scratch: No. No way. I don't trust lawyers! He signs our contract, or none at all.

Paul: (obviously insulted) You don't trust lawyers? You're the Devil for Christ's sake! How could you not trust lawyers?

Scratch: Don't you dare mention that name again!

Paul: What name? Christ? Or Christ? Or was it Jesus Christ? Or was it just Jesus? How about Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus!

Scratch: You sonnuvbitch, I'll show you a thing or two…(Scratch charges after Paul, but Benedict intercepts him)

Benedict: Please sir, calm down, will you. Now Paul here is a very nice man with a very nice soul who I think wants to business with us.

Scratch: Fine! But let me tell you something Paul! When that contract is up, your ass is mine!

Paul: Oh, I'm so scared!

Benedict: Will you guys cut it out. You're acting like Christians with all that bickering! Now let's all be adults here, and treat each other like gentlemen.

Paul: That's fine with me, but like I said earlier: it's my contract or none at all. I don't want to get screwed through some loophole or something. Now I'm willing to give up my soul, but I just want to make sure I get everything I bargained for. Otherwise, I'm perfectly fine with keeping my soul just the way it is.

Benedict: Don't worry about that, we'll fulfill our end, but just what is it that you want?

Paul: I just want you to give me whatever I ask for as long as the contract lasts, without any interference with what I'm doing. Everything I ask for will be of this world, and will really not be much more than miracles you seem to think are so easy to come by.

Scratch: Benedict, take a look at that contract, make sure it checks out .

Paul: Here you go. (Paul opens up the top drawer of his desk and pulls out the contract and then hands it to Bendict) I left a spot for the length of time of the contract. I don't know how long these things last.

Benedict: 24 years!

Paul: Why 24?

Benedict: Hell if I know! Boss, why 24?

Scratch: Simple. 6 times 3 is 24.

Paul: That's 18 you idiot! 24 is 6 times 4! I can't believe this, you're such a moron!

Scratch: Fuck you! You try doing everything I do, I don't have time for simple math.

Paul: What do you want? Some sympathy?

Benedict: Hey, that's a good one!

Scratch: Shut up Benedict! So how does this contract look?

Benedict: (after thoroughly, but quickly reading through the contract) Looks good to me. Just got to fill in the dates, and Mr. Thanzera, you just have to sign here with your own blood.

Paul: (Takes a letter opener and makes a small cut in his arm) Holy shit! It says "O homo fuge" on my arm!

Scratch: Really?

Paul: No I'm just fucking with you, scared you though, didn't I?

Scratch: You little smart ass! I'm telling you, just wait…

Benedict: Cut it out you two! Just sign the damn thing, will you Paul?

Paul: Ok, ok. But he's just so fun to mess with! (He dips a Q-tip into his cut and signs the contract) So, is that everything?

Scratch: Yes, and in 24 years, your pretty, little soul will be mine. As for now, Benedict is at your disposal.

Benedict: Alright fellas, now let me see you two shake on it.

Scratch: (breathes out heavily) Fine. (Paul and Scratch shake hands)

From The New York Times:

At major cities around the world on Christmas day, yesterday, a man surrounded by a blinding light claiming to be "the Messiah" made hundreds of appearances saying that it is the end of the world as we know it. Many believe it to be the second coming of Jesus, as this "Messiah" was feeding thousands upon thousands of people with food that seems to be coming out of midair in countless cities around the globe. He said he will not stop, until there's an end to all the "wars, suffering, and selfishness in the world.," thus ending the world as it is now known. "There is going to be a new world, where we are going to treat each other the way people are supposed to be treated: with unconditional love," he was reported to have said in Calcutta, India. Millions around the world, are rejoicing, stating that God has finally come through, and the world will be at peace. (Please turn to F16 to read the rest of this article)

Paul, Benedict, and Scratch are in a vacated church in Bethlehem. Scratch is throwing pews around, and ranting back and forth. Paul and Bendict sit and watch. It's 5:06 AM.

Paul: You know, Mr. Scratch, I've got a lot to do today, right now as we speak, there are millions of people in the world who are starving, and I've got to feed them.

Scratch: You slimy, dirty, no-good-bastard! You tricked me!

Paul: I didn't trick you. The contract states that I give up my soul, which I will when the time comes, for everything I want on this earth. Well, what I want on this earth, is heaven, so to speak. Maybe God has turned his back, but I sure as hell won't. So I don't see what the problem is? You get my soul, I get world peace. Where's the trick?

Scratch: I ought to snap your neck you little fucker!

Benedict: Uhh, you can't sir, it explicitly says in the contract that you can't interfe…

Scratch: I know what the damn contract says! You know, your ass is grass too once I'm done with him! You should've known better Benedict, I taught you better.

Benedict: But the contract says…

Scratch: Shut up about the contract! Do you know how much progress you two have ruined? I spent two thousand years trying to reverse the effects of Jesus, and then you come along! You'll pay for this Thanzera!

Paul: I'm aware. It'll all be worth it. I'd sell my soul a million times more if I had to! There will be peace on this earth. No more religious wars, no more hunger, no more diseases, and in the face of God, people can't refuse to be selfless.

Scratch: You're not the face of God! How dare you say such a thing!

Paul: I know that, but they don't. Nor does it matter. Because people want to believe!

Scratch: We'll see about that! You're fighting a fruitless battle! The human spirit is full of selfishness!

Paul continues for 24 years in his mission. Benedict remains his assistant. He succeeds in converting the world, not in religion, but in humanity.

Paul, Bendict, and Scratch are in a field that could be anywhere. Paul's 24 years are up. It is Christmas morning, 2026. It is 1:55 AM.

Scratch: Finally.

Paul: Yes, finally. Well, I've still got a couple minutes. I got to tell you guys, it was worth every bit of soul I got.

Scratch: You won't be saying that in 5 minutes!

Paul: And you know, I really want to thank the two of you. Without you, the world would be hell!

Scratch: Don't thank me, thank Benedict over there who is going to have it just as bad as you. And don't worry, I've got time for earth!

Benedict: Me? What did I do? I'm just doing what you tell me to do! I'm innocent!

Scratch: Shut up! You know, I've never liked you. I always thought you were a bit soft! And now I know. You're going to pay Bendict, you're going to pay!

Behind and above Paul, a small light starts to grow. Benedict sees this, and charges after Scratch before Scratch realizes what the light is. Paul in the meantime begins to rise.

Paul: (while rising) No Benedict!

God and Paul are talking in heaven. Elevator music seems to be playing lightly in the background.

Paul: Why did you save me? I thought you stopped caring? I thought you turned your back?

God: Well, I can't go around telling everyone that I'm still watching. Just because you didn't know something, doesn't mean it wasn't so.

Paul: What about Benedict?

God: What about him?

Paul: What happens to him?

God: Why do you care?

Paul: Because he helped me. I think deep, down, he really cared, and I think he wanted me to succeed.

God: I think so too.

Paul: What? And he's still damned? That's not fair!

God: Who said he's damned? I didn't.

Paul: But when I asked you about Benedict, you said, 'what about him?'

God: I did.

Paul: Well you didn't say he was saved.

God: Just because you don't know something, doesn't mean it isn't so.

Paul: Man you're tough. So he's saved then?

God: I didn't say that.

Paul: Will you quit messing with me? I just want to know what happened to Benedict!

God: You need to relax. Be patient. Everything is known in due time.

Benedict: (comes up behind Paul and grabs him) Boo!

Paul: (after jumping from the surprise) Holy shit! Benedict! Oh, sorry about the language.

God: What do I care, they're just words.

Paul: That's what I say!

God: I know.

Benedict: So, did I scare you?

Paul: Yes, I mean no, I mean, yes, I was scared that you were damned and no to you…

Benedict: Shut up, I know what you meant. Now let's go for a walk.