ACT II
SCENE III The same. A street.


 [Enter LAUNCE, leading a dog]

LAUNCE Nay, 'twill be this hour ere I have done weeping;
 all the kind of the Launces have this very fault. I
 have received my proportion, like the prodigious
 son, and am going with Sir Proteus to the Imperial's
 court. I think Crab, my dog, be the sourest-natured
 dog that lives: my mother weeping, my father
 wailing, my sister crying, our maid howling, our cat
 wringing her hands, and all our house in a great
 perplexity, yet did not this cruel-hearted cur shed
 one tear: he is a stone, a very pebble stone, and
 has no more pity in him than a dog: a Jew would have
 wept to have seen our parting; why, my grandam,
 having no eyes, look you, wept herself blind at my
 parting. Nay, I'll show you the manner of it. This
 shoe is my father: no, this left shoe is my father:
 no, no, this left shoe is my mother: nay, that
 cannot be so neither: yes, it is so, it is so, it
 hath the worser sole. This shoe, with the hole in
 it, is my mother, and this my father; a vengeance
 on't! there 'tis: now, sit, this staff is my
 sister, for, look you, she is as white as a lily and
 as small as a wand: this hat is Nan, our maid: I
 am the dog: no, the dog is himself, and I am the
 dog--Oh! the dog is me, and I am myself; ay, so,
 so. Now come I to my father; Father, your blessing:
 now should not the shoe speak a word for weeping:
 now should I kiss my father; well, he weeps on. Now
 come I to my mother: O, that she could speak now
 like a wood woman! Well, I kiss her; why, there
 'tis; here's my mother's breath up and down. Now
 come I to my sister; mark the moan she makes. Now
 the dog all this while sheds not a tear nor speaks a
 word; but see how I lay the dust with my tears.

 [Enter PANTHINO]

PANTHINO Launce, away, away, aboard! thy master is shipped
 and thou art to post after with oars. What's the
 matter? why weepest thou, man? Away, ass! You'll
 lose the tide, if you tarry any longer.

LAUNCE It is no matter if the tied were lost; for it is the
 unkindest tied that ever any man tied.

PANTHINO What's the unkindest tide?

LAUNCE Why, he that's tied here, Crab, my dog.

PANTHINO Tut, man, I mean thou'lt lose the flood, and, in
 losing the flood, lose thy voyage, and, in losing
 thy voyage, lose thy master, and, in losing thy
 master, lose thy service, and, in losing thy
 service,--Why dost thou stop my mouth?

LAUNCE For fear thou shouldst lose thy tongue.

PANTHINO Where should I lose my tongue?

LAUNCE In thy tale.

PANTHINO In thy tail!

LAUNCE Lose the tide, and the voyage, and the master, and
 the service, and the tied! Why, man, if the river
 were dry, I am able to fill it with my tears; if the
 wind were down, I could drive the boat with my sighs.

PANTHINO Come, come away, man; I was sent to call thee.

LAUNCE Sir, call me what thou darest.

PANTHINO Wilt thou go?

LAUNCE Well, I will go.

 [Exeunt]




 THE TWO GENTLEMEN OF VERONA


ACT II