ACT III
SCENE II London. The palace.


 [Enter KING HENRY IV, PRINCE HENRY, and others]

KING HENRY IV Lords, give us leave; the Prince of Wales and I
 Must have some private conference; but be near at hand,
 For we shall presently have need of you.

 [Exeunt Lords]

 I know not whether God will have it so,
 For some displeasing service I have done,
 That, in his secret doom, out of my blood
 He'll breed revengement and a scourge for me;
 But thou dost in thy passages of life
 Make me believe that thou art only mark'd
 For the hot vengeance and the rod of heaven
 To punish my mistreadings. Tell me else,
 Could such inordinate and low desires,
 Such poor, such bare, such lewd, such mean attempts,
 Such barren pleasures, rude society,
 As thou art match'd withal and grafted to,
 Accompany the greatness of thy blood
 And hold their level with thy princely heart?

PRINCE HENRY So please your majesty, I would I could
 Quit all offences with as clear excuse
 As well as I am doubtless I can purge
 Myself of many I am charged withal:
 Yet such extenuation let me beg,
 As, in reproof of many tales devised,
 which oft the ear of greatness needs must hear,
 By smiling pick-thanks and base news-mongers,
 I may, for some things true, wherein my youth
 Hath faulty wander'd and irregular,
 Find pardon on my true submission.

KING HENRY IV God pardon thee! yet let me wonder, Harry,
 At thy affections, which do hold a wing
 Quite from the flight of all thy ancestors.
 Thy place in council thou hast rudely lost.
 Which by thy younger brother is supplied,
 And art almost an alien to the hearts
 Of all the court and princes of my blood:
 The hope and expectation of thy time
 Is ruin'd, and the soul of every man
 Prophetically doth forethink thy fall.
 Had I so lavish of my presence been,
 So common-hackney'd in the eyes of men,
 So stale and cheap to vulgar company,
 Opinion, that did help me to the crown,
 Had still kept loyal to possession
 And left me in reputeless banishment,
 A fellow of no mark nor likelihood.
 By being seldom seen, I could not stir
 But like a comet I was wonder'd at;
 That men would tell their children 'This is he;'
 Others would say 'Where, which is Bolingbroke?'
 And then I stole all courtesy from heaven,
 And dress'd myself in such humility
 That I did pluck allegiance from men's hearts,
 Loud shouts and salutations from their mouths,
 Even in the presence of the crowned king.
 Thus did I keep my person fresh and new;
 My presence, like a robe pontifical,
 Ne'er seen but wonder'd at: and so my state,
 Seldom but sumptuous, showed like a feast
 And won by rareness such solemnity.
 The skipping king, he ambled up and down
 With shallow jesters and rash bavin wits,
 Soon kindled and soon burnt; carded his state,
 Mingled his royalty with capering fools,
 Had his great name profaned with their scorns
 And gave his countenance, against his name,
 To laugh at gibing boys and stand the push
 Of every beardless vain comparative,
 Grew a companion to the common streets,
 Enfeoff'd himself to popularity;
 That, being daily swallow'd by men's eyes,
 They surfeited with honey and began
 To loathe the taste of sweetness, whereof a little
 More than a little is by much too much.
 So when he had occasion to be seen,
 He was but as the cuckoo is in June,
 Heard, not regarded; seen, but with such eyes
 As, sick and blunted with community,
 Afford no extraordinary gaze,
 Such as is bent on sun-like majesty
 When it shines seldom in admiring eyes;
 But rather drowzed and hung their eyelids down,
 Slept in his face and render'd such aspect
 As cloudy men use to their adversaries,
 Being with his presence glutted, gorged and full.
 And in that very line, Harry, standest thou;
 For thou has lost thy princely privilege
 With vile participation: not an eye
 But is a-weary of thy common sight,
 Save mine, which hath desired to see thee more;
 Which now doth that I would not have it do,
 Make blind itself with foolish tenderness.

PRINCE HENRY I shall hereafter, my thrice gracious lord,
 Be more myself.

KING HENRY IV                   For all the world
 As thou art to this hour was Richard then
 When I from France set foot at Ravenspurgh,
 And even as I was then is Percy now.
 Now, by my sceptre and my soul to boot,
 He hath more worthy interest to the state
 Than thou the shadow of succession;
 For of no right, nor colour like to right,
 He doth fill fields with harness in the realm,
 Turns head against the lion's armed jaws,
 And, being no more in debt to years than thou,
 Leads ancient lords and reverend bishops on
 To bloody battles and to bruising arms.
 What never-dying honour hath he got
 Against renowned Douglas! whose high deeds,
 Whose hot incursions and great name in arms
 Holds from all soldiers chief majority
 And military title capital
 Through all the kingdoms that acknowledge Christ:
 Thrice hath this Hotspur, Mars in swathling clothes,
 This infant warrior, in his enterprises
 Discomfited great Douglas, ta'en him once,
 Enlarged him and made a friend of him,
 To fill the mouth of deep defiance up
 And shake the peace and safety of our throne.
 And what say you to this? Percy, Northumberland,
 The Archbishop's grace of York, Douglas, Mortimer,
 Capitulate against us and are up.
 But wherefore do I tell these news to thee?
 Why, Harry, do I tell thee of my foes,
 Which art my near'st and dearest enemy?
 Thou that art like enough, through vassal fear,
 Base inclination and the start of spleen
 To fight against me under Percy's pay,
 To dog his heels and curtsy at his frowns,
 To show how much thou art degenerate.

PRINCE HENRY Do not think so; you shall not find it so:
 And God forgive them that so much have sway'd
 Your majesty's good thoughts away from me!
 I will redeem all this on Percy's head
 And in the closing of some glorious day
 Be bold to tell you that I am your son;
 When I will wear a garment all of blood
 And stain my favours in a bloody mask,
 Which, wash'd away, shall scour my shame with it:
 And that shall be the day, whene'er it lights,
 That this same child of honour and renown,
 This gallant Hotspur, this all-praised knight,
 And your unthought-of Harry chance to meet.
 For every honour sitting on his helm,
 Would they were multitudes, and on my head
 My shames redoubled! for the time will come,
 That I shall make this northern youth exchange
 His glorious deeds for my indignities.
 Percy is but my factor, good my lord,
 To engross up glorious deeds on my behalf;
 And I will call him to so strict account,
 That he shall render every glory up,
 Yea, even the slightest worship of his time,
 Or I will tear the reckoning from his heart.
 This, in the name of God, I promise here:
 The which if He be pleased I shall perform,
 I do beseech your majesty may salve
 The long-grown wounds of my intemperance:
 If not, the end of life cancels all bands;
 And I will die a hundred thousand deaths
 Ere break the smallest parcel of this vow.

KING HENRY IV A hundred thousand rebels die in this:
 Thou shalt have charge and sovereign trust herein.

 [Enter BLUNT]

 How now, good Blunt? thy looks are full of speed.

SIR WALTER BLUNT So hath the business that I come to speak of.
 Lord Mortimer of Scotland hath sent word
 That Douglas and the English rebels met
 The eleventh of this month at Shrewsbury
 A mighty and a fearful head they are,
 If promises be kept on every hand,
 As ever offer'd foul play in the state.

KING HENRY IV The Earl of Westmoreland set forth to-day;
 With him my son, Lord John of Lancaster;
 For this advertisement is five days old:
 On Wednesday next, Harry, you shall set forward;
 On Thursday we ourselves will march: our meeting
 Is Bridgenorth: and, Harry, you shall march
 Through Gloucestershire; by which account,
 Our business valued, some twelve days hence
 Our general forces at Bridgenorth shall meet.
 Our hands are full of business: let's away;
 Advantage feeds him fat, while men delay.

 [Exeunt]




 1 KING HENRY IV


ACT III



Scene III Eastcheap. The Boar's-Head Tavern.


 [Enter FALSTAFF and BARDOLPH]

FALSTAFF Bardolph, am I not fallen away vilely since this last
 action? do I not bate? do I not dwindle? Why my
 skin hangs about me like an like an old lady's loose
 gown; I am withered like an old apple-john. Well,
 I'll repent, and that suddenly, while I am in some
 liking; I shall be out of heart shortly, and then I
 shall have no strength to repent. An I have not
 forgotten what the inside of a church is made of, I
 am a peppercorn, a brewer's horse: the inside of a
 church! Company, villanous company, hath been the
 spoil of me.

BARDOLPH Sir John, you are so fretful, you cannot live long.

FALSTAFF Why, there is it: come sing me a bawdy song; make
 me merry. I was as virtuously given as a gentleman
 need to be; virtuous enough; swore little; diced not
 above seven times a week; went to a bawdy-house once
 in a quarter--of an hour; paid money that I
 borrowed, three of four times; lived well and in
 good compass: and now I live out of all order, out
 of all compass.

BARDOLPH Why, you are so fat, Sir John, that you must needs
 be out of all compass, out of all reasonable
 compass, Sir John.

FALSTAFF Do thou amend thy face, and I'll amend my life:
 thou art our admiral, thou bearest the lantern in
 the poop, but 'tis in the nose of thee; thou art the
 Knight of the Burning Lamp.

BARDOLPH Why, Sir John, my face does you no harm.

FALSTAFF No, I'll be sworn; I make as good use of it as many
 a man doth of a Death's-head or a memento mori: I
 never see thy face but I think upon hell-fire and
 Dives that lived in purple; for there he is in his
 robes, burning, burning. If thou wert any way
 given to virtue, I would swear by thy face; my oath
 should be 'By this fire, that's God's angel:' but
 thou art altogether given over; and wert indeed, but
 for the light in thy face, the son of utter
 darkness. When thou rannest up Gadshill in the
 night to catch my horse, if I did not think thou
 hadst been an ignis fatuus or a ball of wildfire,
 there's no purchase in money. O, thou art a
 perpetual triumph, an everlasting bonfire-light!
 Thou hast saved me a thousand marks in links and
 torches, walking with thee in the night betwixt
 tavern and tavern: but the sack that thou hast
 drunk me would have bought me lights as good cheap
 at the dearest chandler's in Europe. I have
 maintained that salamander of yours with fire any
 time this two and thirty years; God reward me for
 it!

BARDOLPH 'Sblood, I would my face were in your belly!

FALSTAFF God-a-mercy! so should I be sure to be heart-burned.

 [Enter Hostess]

 How now, Dame Partlet the hen! have you inquired
 yet who picked my pocket?

Hostess Why, Sir John, what do you think, Sir John? do you
 think I keep thieves in my house? I have searched,
 I have inquired, so has my husband, man by man, boy
 by boy, servant by servant: the tithe of a hair
 was never lost in my house before.

FALSTAFF Ye lie, hostess: Bardolph was shaved and lost many
 a hair; and I'll be sworn my pocket was picked. Go
 to, you are a woman, go.

Hostess Who, I? no; I defy thee: God's light, I was never
 called so in mine own house before.

FALSTAFF Go to, I know you well enough.

Hostess No, Sir John; You do not know me, Sir John. I know
 you, Sir John: you owe me money, Sir John; and now
 you pick a quarrel to beguile me of it: I bought
 you a dozen of shirts to your back.

FALSTAFF Dowlas, filthy dowlas: I have given them away to
 bakers' wives, and they have made bolters of them.

Hostess Now, as I am a true woman, holland of eight
 shillings an ell. You owe money here besides, Sir
 John, for your diet and by-drinkings, and money lent
 you, four and twenty pound.

FALSTAFF He had his part of it; let him pay.

Hostess He? alas, he is poor; he hath nothing.

FALSTAFF How! poor? look upon his face; what call you rich?
 let them coin his nose, let them coin his cheeks:
 Ill not pay a denier. What, will you make a younker
 of me? shall I not take mine case in mine inn but I
 shall have my pocket picked? I have lost a
 seal-ring of my grandfather's worth forty mark.

Hostess O Jesu, I have heard the prince tell him, I know not
 how oft, that ring was copper!

FALSTAFF How! the prince is a Jack, a sneak-cup: 'sblood, an
 he were here, I would cudgel him like a dog, if he
 would say so.

 [Enter PRINCE HENRY and PETO, marching, and FALSTAFF
 meets them playing on his truncheon like a life]

 How now, lad! is the wind in that door, i' faith?
 must we all march?

BARDOLPH Yea, two and two, Newgate fashion.

Hostess My lord, I pray you, hear me.

PRINCE HENRY What sayest thou, Mistress Quickly? How doth thy
 husband? I love him well; he is an honest man.

Hostess Good my lord, hear me.

FALSTAFF Prithee, let her alone, and list to me.

PRINCE HENRY What sayest thou, Jack?

FALSTAFF The other night I fell asleep here behind the arras
 and had my pocket picked: this house is turned
 bawdy-house; they pick pockets.

PRINCE HENRY What didst thou lose, Jack?

FALSTAFF Wilt thou believe me, Hal? three or four bonds of
 forty pound apiece, and a seal-ring of my
 grandfather's.

PRINCE HENRY A trifle, some eight-penny matter.

Hostess So I told him, my lord; and I said I heard your
 grace say so: and, my lord, he speaks most vilely
 of you, like a foul-mouthed man as he is; and said
 he would cudgel you.

PRINCE HENRY What! he did not?

Hostess There's neither faith, truth, nor womanhood in me else.

FALSTAFF There's no more faith in thee than in a stewed
 prune; nor no more truth in thee than in a drawn
 fox; and for womanhood, Maid Marian may be the
 deputy's wife of the ward to thee. Go, you thing,
 go

Hostess Say, what thing? what thing?

FALSTAFF What thing! why, a thing to thank God on.

Hostess I am no thing to thank God on, I would thou
 shouldst know it; I am an honest man's wife: and,
 setting thy knighthood aside, thou art a knave to
 call me so.

FALSTAFF Setting thy womanhood aside, thou art a beast to say
 otherwise.

Hostess Say, what beast, thou knave, thou?

FALSTAFF What beast! why, an otter.

PRINCE HENRY An otter, Sir John! Why an otter?

FALSTAFF Why, she's neither fish nor flesh; a man knows not
 where to have her.

Hostess Thou art an unjust man in saying so: thou or any
 man knows where to have me, thou knave, thou!

PRINCE HENRY Thou sayest true, hostess; and he slanders thee most grossly.

Hostess So he doth you, my lord; and said this other day you
 ought him a thousand pound.

PRINCE HENRY Sirrah, do I owe you a thousand pound?

FALSTAFF A thousand pound, Ha! a million: thy love is worth
 a million: thou owest me thy love.

Hostess Nay, my lord, he called you Jack, and said he would
 cudgel you.

FALSTAFF Did I, Bardolph?

BARDOLPH Indeed, Sir John, you said so.

FALSTAFF Yea, if he said my ring was copper.

PRINCE HENRY I say 'tis copper: darest thou be as good as thy word now?

FALSTAFF Why, Hal, thou knowest, as thou art but man, I dare:
 but as thou art prince, I fear thee as I fear the
 roaring of a lion's whelp.

PRINCE HENRY And why not as the lion?

FALSTAFF The king is to be feared as the lion: dost thou
 think I'll fear thee as I fear thy father? nay, an
 I do, I pray God my girdle break.

PRINCE HENRY O, if it should, how would thy guts fall about thy
 knees! But, sirrah, there's no room for faith,
 truth, nor honesty in this bosom of thine; it is all
 filled up with guts and midriff. Charge an honest
 woman with picking thy pocket! why, thou whoreson,
 impudent, embossed rascal, if there were anything in
 thy pocket but tavern-reckonings, memorandums of
 bawdy-houses, and one poor penny-worth of
 sugar-candy to make thee long-winded, if thy pocket
 were enriched with any other injuries but these, I
 am a villain: and yet you will stand to if; you will
 not pocket up wrong: art thou not ashamed?

FALSTAFF Dost thou hear, Hal? thou knowest in the state of
 innocency Adam fell; and what should poor Jack
 Falstaff do in the days of villany? Thou seest I
 have more flesh than another man, and therefore more
 frailty. You confess then, you picked my pocket?

PRINCE HENRY It appears so by the story.

FALSTAFF Hostess, I forgive thee: go, make ready breakfast;
 love thy husband, look to thy servants, cherish thy
 guests: thou shalt find me tractable to any honest
 reason: thou seest I am pacified still. Nay,
 prithee, be gone.

 [Exit Hostess]

 Now Hal, to the news at court: for the robbery,
 lad, how is that answered?

PRINCE HENRY O, my sweet beef, I must still be good angel to
 thee: the money is paid back again.

FALSTAFF O, I do not like that paying back; 'tis a double labour.

PRINCE HENRY I am good friends with my father and may do any thing.

FALSTAFF Rob me the exchequer the first thing thou doest, and
 do it with unwashed hands too.

BARDOLPH Do, my lord.

PRINCE HENRY I have procured thee, Jack, a charge of foot.

FALSTAFF I would it had been of horse. Where shall I find
 one that can steal well? O for a fine thief, of the
 age of two and twenty or thereabouts! I am
 heinously unprovided. Well, God be thanked for
 these rebels, they offend none but the virtuous: I
 laud them, I praise them.

PRINCE HENRY Bardolph!

BARDOLPH My lord?

PRINCE HENRY Go bear this letter to Lord John of Lancaster, to my
 brother John; this to my Lord of Westmoreland.

 [Exit Bardolph]

 Go, Peto, to horse, to horse; for thou and I have
 thirty miles to ride yet ere dinner time.

 [Exit Peto]

 Jack, meet me to-morrow in the temple hall at two
 o'clock in the afternoon.
 There shalt thou know thy charge; and there receive
 Money and order for their furniture.
 The land is burning; Percy stands on high;
 And either we or they must lower lie.

 [Exit PRINCE HENRY]

FALSTAFF Rare words! brave world! Hostess, my breakfast, come!
 O, I could wish this tavern were my drum!

 [Exit]




 1 KING HENRY IV


ACT IV