ACT II SCENE I London. A street. [Enter Corporal NYM and Lieutenant BARDOLPH] BARDOLPH Well met, Corporal Nym. NYM Good morrow, Lieutenant Bardolph. BARDOLPH What, are Ancient Pistol and you friends yet? NYM For my part, I care not: I say little; but when time shall serve, there shall be smiles; but that shall be as it may. I dare not fight; but I will wink and hold out mine iron: it is a simple one; but what though? it will toast cheese, and it will endure cold as another man's sword will: and there's an end. BARDOLPH I will bestow a breakfast to make you friends; and we'll be all three sworn brothers to France: let it be so, good Corporal Nym. NYM Faith, I will live so long as I may, that's the certain of it; and when I cannot live any longer, I will do as I may: that is my rest, that is the rendezvous of it. BARDOLPH It is certain, corporal, that he is married to Nell Quickly: and certainly she did you wrong; for you were troth-plight to her. NYM I cannot tell: things must be as they may: men may sleep, and they may have their throats about them at that time; and some say knives have edges. It must be as it may: though patience be a tired mare, yet she will plod. There must be conclusions. Well, I cannot tell. [Enter PISTOL and Hostess] BARDOLPH Here comes Ancient Pistol and his wife: good corporal, be patient here. How now, mine host Pistol! PISTOL Base tike, call'st thou me host? Now, by this hand, I swear, I scorn the term; Nor shall my Nell keep lodgers. Hostess No, by my troth, not long; for we cannot lodge and board a dozen or fourteen gentlewomen that live honestly by the prick of their needles, but it will be thought we keep a bawdy house straight. [NYM and PISTOL draw] O well a day, Lady, if he be not drawn now! we shall see wilful adultery and murder committed. BARDOLPH Good lieutenant! good corporal! offer nothing here. NYM Pish! PISTOL Pish for thee, Iceland dog! thou prick-ear'd cur of Iceland! Hostess Good Corporal Nym, show thy valour, and put up your sword. NYM Will you shog off? I would have you solus. PISTOL 'Solus,' egregious dog? O viper vile! The 'solus' in thy most mervailous face; The 'solus' in thy teeth, and in thy throat, And in thy hateful lungs, yea, in thy maw, perdy, And, which is worse, within thy nasty mouth! I do retort the 'solus' in thy bowels; For I can take, and Pistol's cock is up, And flashing fire will follow. NYM I am not Barbason; you cannot conjure me. I have an humour to knock you indifferently well. If you grow foul with me, Pistol, I will scour you with my rapier, as I may, in fair terms: if you would walk off, I would prick your guts a little, in good terms, as I may: and that's the humour of it. PISTOL O braggart vile and damned furious wight! The grave doth gape, and doting death is near; Therefore exhale. BARDOLPH Hear me, hear me what I say: he that strikes the first stroke, I'll run him up to the hilts, as I am a soldier. [Draws] PISTOL An oath of mickle might; and fury shall abate. Give me thy fist, thy fore-foot to me give: Thy spirits are most tall. NYM I will cut thy throat, one time or other, in fair terms: that is the humour of it. PISTOL 'Couple a gorge!' That is the word. I thee defy again. O hound of Crete, think'st thou my spouse to get? No; to the spital go, And from the powdering tub of infamy Fetch forth the lazar kite of Cressid's kind, Doll Tearsheet she by name, and her espouse: I have, and I will hold, the quondam Quickly For the only she; and--pauca, there's enough. Go to. [Enter the Boy] Boy Mine host Pistol, you must come to my master, and you, hostess: he is very sick, and would to bed. Good Bardolph, put thy face between his sheets, and do the office of a warming-pan. Faith, he's very ill. BARDOLPH Away, you rogue! Hostess By my troth, he'll yield the crow a pudding one of these days. The king has killed his heart. Good husband, come home presently. [Exeunt Hostess and Boy] BARDOLPH Come, shall I make you two friends? We must to France together: why the devil should we keep knives to cut one another's throats? PISTOL Let floods o'erswell, and fiends for food howl on! NYM You'll pay me the eight shillings I won of you at betting? PISTOL Base is the slave that pays. NYM That now I will have: that's the humour of it. PISTOL As manhood shall compound: push home. [They draw] BARDOLPH By this sword, he that makes the first thrust, I'll kill him; by this sword, I will. PISTOL Sword is an oath, and oaths must have their course. BARDOLPH Corporal Nym, an thou wilt be friends, be friends: an thou wilt not, why, then, be enemies with me too. Prithee, put up. NYM I shall have my eight shillings I won of you at betting? PISTOL A noble shalt thou have, and present pay; And liquor likewise will I give to thee, And friendship shall combine, and brotherhood: I'll live by Nym, and Nym shall live by me; Is not this just? for I shall sutler be Unto the camp, and profits will accrue. Give me thy hand. NYM I shall have my noble? PISTOL In cash most justly paid. NYM Well, then, that's the humour of't. [Re-enter Hostess] Hostess As ever you came of women, come in quickly to Sir John. Ah, poor heart! he is so shaked of a burning quotidian tertian, that it is most lamentable to behold. Sweet men, come to him. NYM The king hath run bad humours on the knight; that's the even of it. PISTOL Nym, thou hast spoke the right; His heart is fracted and corroborate. NYM The king is a good king: but it must be as it may; he passes some humours and careers. PISTOL Let us condole the knight; for, lambkins we will live. KING HENRY V ACT II