Chapter 22

THE Bennets were engaged to dine with the Lucases, and
again during the chief of the day, was Miss Lucas so kind as
to listen to Mr. Collins.  Elizabeth took an opportunity of
thanking her.  "It keeps him in good humour," said she, "and
I am more obliged to you than I can express."  Charlotte
assured her friend of her satisfaction in being useful, and that
it amply repaid her for the little sacrifice of her time.  This was
very amiable, but Charlotte's kindness extended farther than
Elizabeth had any conception of; -- its object was nothing less,
than to secure her from any return of Mr. Collins's addresses,
by engaging them towards herself.  Such was Miss Lucas's
scheme; and appearances were so favourable that when they
parted at night, she would have felt almost sure of success if
he had not been to leave Hertfordshire so very soon.  But here,
she did injustice to the fire and independence of his character,
for it led him to escape out of Longbourn House the next
morning with admirable slyness, and hasten to Lucas Lodge
to throw himself at her feet.  He was anxious to avoid the notice
of his cousins, from a conviction that if they saw him depart,
they could not fail to conjecture his design, and he was not
willing to have the attempt known till its success could be
known likewise; for though feeling almost secure, and with
reason, for Charlotte had been tolerably encouraging, he was
comparatively diffident since the adventure of Wednesday.
His reception however was of the most flattering kind.  Miss
Lucas perceived him from an upper window as he walked
towards the house, and instantly set out to meet him accidentally 
in the lane.  But little had she dared to hope that so
much love and eloquence awaited her there.
In as short a time as Mr. Collins's long speeches would
allow, every thing was settled between them to the satisfaction 
of both; and as they entered the house, he earnestly
entreated her to name the day that was to make him the
happiest of men; and though such a solicitation must be waved
for the present, the lady felt no inclination to trifle with his
happiness.  The stupidity with which he was favoured by
nature, must guard his courtship from any charm that could
make a woman wish for its continuance; and Miss Lucas,
who accepted him solely from the pure and disinterested
desire of an establishment, cared not how soon that establishment were gained.
Sir William and Lady Lucas were speedily applied to for
their consent; and it was bestowed with a most joyful alacrity.
Mr. Collins's present circumstances made it a most eligible
match for their daughter, to whom they could give little
fortune; and his prospects of future wealth were exceedingly
fair.  Lady Lucas began directly to calculate with more
interest than the matter had ever excited before, how many
years longer Mr. Bennet was likely to live; and Sir William
gave it as his decided opinion, that whenever Mr. Collins
should be in possession of the Longbourn estate, it would be
highly expedient that both he and his wife should make their
appearance at St.  James's.  The whole family in short were
properly overjoyed on the occasion.  The younger girls formed
hopes of coming out a year or two sooner than they might
otherwise have done; and the boys were relieved from their
apprehension of Charlotte's dying an old maid.  Charlotte herself 
was tolerably composed.  She had gained her point, and
had time to consider of it.  Her reflections were in general
satisfactory.  Mr. Collins to be sure was neither sensible nor
agreeable; his society was irksome, and his attachment to her
must be imaginary.  But still he would be her husband. --
Without thinking highly either of men or of matrimony,
marriage had always been her object; it was the only honourable provision for well-educated young women of small
fortune, and however uncertain of giving happiness, must be
their pleasantest preservative from want.  This preservative
she had now obtained; and at the age of twenty-seven, without 
having ever been handsome, she felt all the good luck of it.
The least agreeable circumstance in the business, was the
surprise it must occasion to Elizabeth Bennet, whose friendship 
she valued beyond that of any other person.  Elizabeth
would wonder, and probably would blame her; and though
her resolution was not to be shaken, her feelings must be hurt
by such disapprobation.  She resolved to give her the information herself, and therefore charged Mr. Collins when he
returned to Longbourn to dinner, to drop no hint of what had
passed before any of the family.  A promise of secrecy was of
course very dutifully given, but it could not be kept without
difficulty; for the curiosity excited by his long absence, burst
forth in such very direct questions on his return, as required
some ingenuity to evade, and he was at the same time exercising great self-denial, for he was longing to publish his
prosperous love.
As he was to begin his journey too early on the morrow to
see any of the family, the ceremony of leave-taking was performed when the ladies moved for the night; and Mrs. Bennet
with great politeness and cordiality said how happy they
should be to see him at Longbourn again, whenever his other
engagements might allow him to visit them.
"My dear Madam," he replied, "this invitation is particularly gratifying, because it is what I have been hoping to
receive; and you may be very certain that I shall avail myself
of it as soon as possible."
They were all astonished; and Mr. Bennet, who could by
no means wish for so speedy a return, immediately said,
"But is there not danger of Lady Catherine's disapprobation 
here, my good sir? -- You had better neglect your relations, 
than run the risk of offending your patroness."
"My dear sir, " replied Mr. Collins, "I am particularly obliged
to you for this friendly caution, and you may depend upon
my not taking so material a step without her ladyship's concurrence."
"You cannot be too much on your guard.  Risk any thing
rather than her displeasure; and if you find it likely to be
raised by your coming to us again, which I should think
exceedingly probable, stay quietly at home, and be satisfied
that we shall take no offence."
"Believe me, my dear sir, my gratitude is warmly excited
by such affectionate attention; and depend upon it, you will
speedily receive from me a letter of thanks for this, as well as
for every other mark of your regard during my stay in Hertfordshire.  As for my fair cousins, though my absence may not be
long enough to render it necessary, I shall now take the liberty
of wishing them health and happiness, not excepting my
cousin Elizabeth."
With proper civilities the ladies then withdrew; all of them
equally surprised to find that he meditated a quick return.
Mrs. Bennet wished to understand by it that he thought of
paying his addresses to one of her younger girls, and Mary
might have been prevailed on to accept him.  She rated his
abilities much higher than any of the others; there was a
solidity in his reflections which often struck her, and though
by no means so clever as herself, she thought that if encouraged
to read and improve himself by such an example as her's, he
might become a very agreeable companion.  But on the following morning, every hope of this kind was done away.  Miss
Lucas called soon after breakfast, and in a private conference
with Elizabeth related the event of the day before.
The possibility of Mr. Collins's fancying himself in love
with her friend had once occurred to Elizabeth within the
last day or two; but that Charlotte could encourage him,
seemed almost as far from possibility as that she could encourage him herself, and her astonishment was consequently so
great as to overcome at first the bounds of decorum, and she
could not help crying out,
"Engaged to Mr. Collins!  my dear Charlotte, --
impossible!"
The steady countenance which Miss Lucas had commanded in 
telling her story, gave way to a momentary confusion here on receiving so direct a reproach; though, as it
was no more than she expected, she soon regained her composure, and calmly replied,
"Why should you be surprised, my dear Eliza? -- Do you
think it incredible that Mr. Collins should be able to procure
any woman's good opinion, because he was not so happy as
to succeed with you?"
But Elizabeth had now recollected herself, and making a
strong effort for it, was able to assure her with tolerable firmness 
that the prospect of their relationship was highly grateful
to her, and that she wished her all imaginable happiness.
"I see what you are feeling," replied Charlotte, -- "you
must be surprised, very much surprised, -- so lately as Mr. 
Collins was wishing to marry you.  But when you have
had time to think it all over, I hope you will be satisfied
with what I have done.  I am not romantic you know.  I
never was, I ask only a comfortable home; and considering 
Mr. Collins's character, connections, and situation in
life, I am convinced that my chance of happiness with him
is as fair, as most people can boast on entering the marriage
state."
Elizabeth quietly answered "Undoubtedly;' -- and after
an awkward pause, they returned to the rest of the family.
Charlotte did not stay much longer, and Elizabeth was then
left to reflect on what she had heard.  It was a long time
before she became at all reconciled to the idea of so unsuitable 
a match.  The strangeness of Mr. Collins's making two
offers of marriage within three days, was nothing in comparison 
of his being now accepted.  She had always felt that
Charlotte's opinion of matrimony was not exactly like her
own, but she could not have supposed it possible that when
called into action, she would have sacrificed every better
feeling to worldly advantage.  Charlotte the wife of Mr. Collins,
was amost humiliating picture! -- And to the pang of a
friend disgracing herself and sunk in her esteem, was added
the distressing conviction that it was impossible for that
friend to be tolerably happy in the lot she had chosen.