mnkmemorial-dpk

FIVE LESSONS THAT I LEARNED AT MY MOTHER’S FEET

(Or Walking Alongside Her)

David P. Kraft

Memorial Celebration of Life of Marian N Kraft, 3/19/1912 to 8/20/2006

Bible Church of Waterbury, CT

September 9, 2006

I thought of how to present some of my thoughts and reflections on my mother’s importance in my life. I decided to present a list of lessons I learned from her that were important to my growth and development, presented in no particular order of importance. All of these lessons were based on Mom’s faith in God, through Jesus Christ, and the practice of her faith to the best of her ability.

Keep yourself healthy—Healthy Bodies, Healthy Minds. Value placed on regular exercise (e.g. swimming, walking) & music (vocal, instrumental).

[I grew to love classical music, currently sing in our church choir, and enjoy hiking the White Mountains as well as recent trips to the Colorado Rockies, summiting Mt. Kilimanjaro, and recent overnight hike in Alaska to the Arctic Ocean with my brother-in-law. The effects have been positive for my health.]

People are more important than things. Three corollaries: (1) People are important for who they are and what they do, not whether they’re rich, from a prominent family, or popular; (2) Every individual is important, & with encouragement and trust, most can grow and even thrive; & (3) Most people will do the right thing if you given them a chance, and the means to grow. Value placed on activities with people, rather than amassing objects or toys.

Mom used her money to send kids to camp, to help raise foster children & support various charities. She also helped teach swimming to “handicapped children”, led Bible clubs, organized Pioneer Girls (a Christian form of Girl Scouts) & taught numerous church school classes. In her later years, she often drove her “mature” friends on outings, to allow them all to share new experiences & ideas. Her activities were criticized by some of her relatives, but she persisted.

[My help with teaching swimming to handicapped individuals, and Mom’s help getting me a job as director of a summer day camp for handicapped children when I was in college, helped me learn the value of working with the Developmentally Disabled to assist them to succeed and grow, despite their limitations—now 40% of my practice.]

Family is important—and includes your chosen family (psychological family) as well as biological relatives. Value on keeping in touch with family & friends, whenever possible, & helping them grow and succeed.

One example included the goal for Mom & Dad of putting all of their children through college, which was more than fulfilled. A second example involved Mom keeping in touch with friends of each of her children, and sharing information through letters with how those friends were doing, and in some cases treating them as part of the family. [Mom often believed in some of these friends more than their own families, which proved valuable to them.]

Follow your dreams—don’t be afraid to try new things, as long as you don’t forget your roots—and send pictures (letters, books) so others can share your experiences! Value on curiosity and learning, with a sense of optimism.

[Mom’s interest in what we were doing and places we were seeing was endless—even if she didn’t understand some of the details. Even though she could not have climbed Kilimanjaro, for example, or travel to the Arctic Ocean, she vicariously enjoyed our adventures.]

“As parents, your Dad and I gave you the best training we could, and now trust that you will use the things we taught you to solve your own problems—we look forward to hearing how things turn out.” Value on growth and maturity.

[I have thought often of that talk when I was about 16 years old, trying to decide which college to attend and which courses to pursue. The feeling that she had advised as best she could, but that I needed to seek counsel from other people who had gone to college and had a broader experience was very freeing for me, and demonstrated her trust in my abilities to consult & choose.]

At the end of her life, I was massaging her feet and she relaxed. I thought she was asleep, so I stopped rubbing her feet, when she suddenly raised her head, looked at me, and said “That felt good—why’d you stop?” I resumed the massage, and she moved her head back into the pillow, grinning from ear to ear, and closed her eyes. Those were the last words I remember her saying. May she rest at last in this life. She continues to live within me and many others who will miss her presence.