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--- H E R M A N   B E A V E R S

Ok. So, Iíve never been to Idaho. That doesn't mean that I donít like the way its shaped. And Iíve been told that shape is half the battle. I pick it up out of my sonís toy map. Does it mean people in Boise, are seeing a UFO, a slightly bloodshot, brown and white vessel looking for folks to abduct? Donít mind my self-absorption here. I haven't paid my taxes yet and I worry that I missed something and wonít get what's coming to me. And I bet thereís somebody in Idaho, call him Josiah, heís worried that I wonít get what's coming to me too, though he canít put it into words, its just a feeling that nags at him at the oddest times, like when he's sliding out of his truck or putting his toothbrush into the glass on the counter, when heís admiring the way the light plays off the highlights in his wife's hair. He wishes sometimes that sheíd have that work done on her breasts, that sheíd do it so he could show her his lack of interest was superficial, just a matter of the rods and cones of his eyes lacking the proper stimuli to fire in a sequence that ends with a hand on a thigh. But this was about taxes wasn't it? And isn't Idaho the kind of place where a man like Josiah would look at me and figure I've gotten all I deserveóand at his expense? Such unpleasantness! I expect better from a shape of Idaho's distinctiveness. Thereís has to be a better place. I must admit Iíve always had a soft spot in my heart for Colorado. How can you go wrong in the U.S. with a state whose shape pays homage to the parallelogram, whose name starts with color and ends with so much ado.

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