1.
At a cafe this Irish blonde swaps
worst-love stories with me,
but it's really her man-screening test.
She begins softly...
2.
"My friend's wife left him
to become a totally out lesbian.
He was so distraught.
Can you imagine the blow?"
3.
"How awful..." I sympathize smoothly
but suddenly remember:
"Hey, that happened to me, too --"
Then her laughter is so pure.
4.
I explain, "She'd escaped
from an alcoholic home --
a totally obsessed Wagnerian opera fan.
She grew like vines around me..."
5.
She whispers, "My ex-boyfriend
was a skeptic about everything
but sex, too... He'd always say,
'Ya hafta believe in something.'"
6.
"I'd come from work,
she'd grab her favorite piece of me
-- until sex was like shaking hands...
But -- not literally..."
7.
"My last one fucked
to not talk, too... Isn't it awful?"
"... Uhhhhhhhm --" (Pause) "I'm thinking..."
Then her laughter practically sings.