I’m in dis bar arguin’ with dis jerk about Schubert.

I sez to him, "The essential Schubertian style is in the unfolding of long melodies both brusque and leisurely. That’s the blessed earmark of Schubert’s style and it’s all anyone needs to sense his distinctive attitude toward musical structures.& quot; Well, in a high girlie voice, the jerk tells me, "By classical standards, it’s fairly loose construction." To which I replies, "Dis is Schubert, tough guy; and belaboring him with his musical ancestors is like comparing apples to or anges."

And I decked him.

 

IF THERE’S TWO THINGS I KNOWS, it’s I knows how to deck somebody and I knows my Schubert.

And I knows all I knows about Schubert ‘cause I got Microsoft Multimedia Schubert. It’s an in-depth look at Schubert’s loose-limbed, jog-trotting, lightly-bubbling Trout Quintet. You’ll learn all about Schubert while being accompanied by his l oving and ingratiating music.

If that ain’t enough, it’s got a glossary for dem cro-magnons who don’t knows a scherzo de capo from relative major. There’s even a game to test your Schubert knowledge before I do.

And for the holidays, it comes bundled with Multimedia Beethoven and Multimedia Mozart programs. So if one of my buddies prefer the Mozart or Beethoven programs over my Schubert one, but they have no taste.

So if you’re likes me, and enjoy pouncing with fiendish glee on the little subterfuges Schubert inventory to sidestep the rigid structure of classical sonata form, gets yourself the Microsoft Composer Collection. And if you ain’t likes me and don’t lik es Schubert, I won’t likes you.