This article was originally published in the Summer of 1983 and recently republished in the Jan/Feb, 1999 issue. Reprinted here by permission of THE DOOR MAGAZINE, the world's pretty much only religious humor and satire magazine. 1-800-597-DOOR

ISRAELITE OBESITY
IN THE PERIOD OF
SOLOMON'S MONARCHY
R ECENT historical and literary critical studies have suggested some startling evidence that the people of Israel were grossly overweight during the period of Solomon's reign. By objectively examining the textual data concerning Benaiah, the women of Israel, and King Solomon himself, the present writers hope to lend factual support to this suggestion.

BENAIAH

     One of the prime examples of bulging waistlines is the case of Benaiah. In I Kings 2:29 Solomon gives Benaiah the command to execute Joab because he had sided with Adonijah. No mention is made of a sword, axe or any other type of weapon being used in the execution. Prudent Solomon simply instructs Benaiah, "Go, fall upon him!"
     Are we able to read the causation of a lack of weaponry into the Monarchical Period as in the period of the Judges? There is no historical evidence whatsoever to support the above hypothesis. Rather, the present team of writers suggest that Benaiah was in fact greatly overweight and therefore needed no arsenal of any kind except that of his own body. Further confirmation of this theory is found in verse 31 of I Kings 2. When Benaiah told the King that Joab was in the tent of the Lord (Benaiah's refusal to enter the tent may have been because of an inability to fit through the tent's door1, the King again instructs Benaiah saying, "Fall upon him and bury him" (italics mine).
     The impact of the fall of Benaiah upon Joab would therefore not only kill him, but the tremendous weight would also bury him. There are doubtless those who will say that too much is being read into this passage2, but let these critics also consider I Kings 2:25 concerning Adonijah: "So King Solomon sent Benaiah the son of Jehoiada; and he fell upon him so that he died"(italics mine). And again consider I Kings 2:46 concerning the death of Shimei: "So the King commanded Benaiah3, the son of Jehoiada and he went out and fell upon him so that he died!' The words "so that" obviously indicate that the men died because Benaiah "fell upon" them.

    Not only was gluttony tolerated by the laraelites, but there is a strong indication that it was indeed admired and rewarded. Benaiah was actually made Chief Commander over the entire army of Israel for being so fat that Joab died when he landed upon him.

OBESITY AND WOMEN

     The abnormal consumption of calories was not restricted to the men alone. In I Kings 3 we have the account of two women coming to Solomon with a dispute over the ownership of a certain baby. An article of this narrative seldom considered is the means by which the first son died. The account of this death clearly shows the physical condition of the average Israelite woman of the Solomonic period. The text in verse 19 states, "And the woman's son died in the night because she lay on it." (emphasis mine)

OBESITY AND THE KING

     Finally, we find that even wise King Solomon himself could not exercise temperance at meal time. I Kings 4:22-23 provides some astonishing objective data by stating,
. . . Solomon's provision for one day was thirty kors (10 bushels equals one kor) of fine flour and sixty kors of meal, ten fat oxen, twenty pasture-fed oxen. a hundred sheep besides deer, gazzelles, roebucks, and fattened fowl4.
     The consumption of ten fat oxen per day by one man itself would contain enough calories to cause considerable weight gain over a short period of time. Add to this the additional staples of the King's daily diet and the result is a waistline even "Ripley's Believe It or Not" cannot compete with. In fact, Solomon was so obese that it is stated of him, as Henderson5 correctly points out, in I Kings 2:19 that, "she sat on his right hand." And as Henderson also points out, the statement in 4:1 that King Solomon "was king over all Israel" may have been a tongue-in-cheek reference to Solomon's waistline. It should also be remembered that no one was forcing him to devour those hundred sheep; after all, he was King.

CONCLUSION
     Israel did indeed have a weight problem during the reign of Solomon. What was the source of this obese condition of the entire nation? What would cause an entire people to esteem fat above physical health? Although a negative attitude towards physical exercise may have been existent as early as David's time6, it is the conclusion of the present team of writers that the weight of the evidence falls upon the fact that the national leader, even wise Solomon himself, was corrupted.

__________________

By Kenneth J. Banner, Kenneth B. Campbell, E.C. Helmer and Jeffrey L. Henderson, professors of Semitic Studies and Health Foods Conservative Literalist Seminary. (It if also rumored that an unknown redactor took part in this project.)

We would like to express our appreciation to THE DOOR MAGAZINE magazine for originally publishing this article and granting permission for the creation of this online version. 1-800-597-DOOR

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Last Modified:
Kenneth J. Banner (kbanner@ccat.sas.upenn.edu)
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