The iiii. Acte. The ii. Sceane. Hodge. Doctor Rat. Gammer. Diccon. Chat. Hodge God morow gaffer Vicar D. Rat 2 Come on fellow let vs heare. Thy dame hath sayd to me, thou knowest of all this geare, Lets see what thou canst saie. Hodge Bym fay sir that ye shall, What matter so euer here was done, ich can tell your maship all My Gammer gurton heare see now, sat her downe at this doore, see now: And as she began to stirre her, see now, her neele fell in the floore, see now . And while her staffe she tooke, see now, at Gyb her Cat to flynge, see now, Her neele was lost in the floore, see now is not this a wondrous thing, see no w? Then came the queane Dame Chat, see now to aske for hir blacke cup, see now:. And euen here at this gate, see now: she tooke that neele vp, see now. My Gammer then she yeede, see now hir neele againe to bring, see now And was caught by the head see now is not this a wondrous thing, see now She tare my Gammers cote see now and scratched hir by the face, see now Chad thought shad stopt hir throte, see now is not this a wondrous case, see n ow ? When ich saw this, ich was wrothe see now and start betwene them twaine, see n ow Els ich durst take a booke othe, see now my Gammer had bene slaine, see now. Gammer This is euen the whole matter, as Hodge has plainly tolde And chould faine be quiet for my part, that chould But helpe vs good master, beseech ye that ye doo Els shal we both be beaten and lose our neele too D. Rat What wold ye haue me to doo? tel me that I were gone I will do the best that I can, to set you both at one But be ye sure dame Chat hath this your neele founde — Gammer Here comes the man that see hir take it vp of the ground, Aske him your selfe master Rat if ye beleue not me And helpe me to my neele, for gods sake and samt charitie. D. Rat Come nere diccon and let vs heare, what thou can expresse. Wilt yu be swome yu seest dame chat. this womans neele haue? Diccon Nay by S. Benit wil I not, then might ye thmke me raue. Gammer Why didst not yu tel me so euen here canst yu for shame deny it Diccon I mary gammer. but I said I wold not abide by it, D. Rat Will you say a thmg, and not sticke to it to trieit? Diccon Stick to it quoth you master rat, mary sir I defyit, Nay there is many an honest main, when he suche blastes hath blowne In his freindes eares, he woulde be loth the same by him were knowne If such a toy be vsed oft among the honestie It may beseme a simple man, of your and my degree D. Rat Then we be neuer the nearer, for all that you can tell, Yes mary sir, if ye will do by mine aduise and counsaile, If mother chat se al vs here, she knoweth how the matter goes Therefore I red you three go hence, and within keepe close, And I will into dame chats house, and so the matter vse, That or you cold go twise to church, I warant you here news, She shal looke wel about hir, but I durst lay a pledge, Ye shal of gammers neele, haue shortly better knowledge. Gammer Now gentle Diccon do so, and good sir let vs trudge. D. Rat By the masse I may not tarry so long to be your iudge. Diccon Tys but a litle while man, what take so much paine, If I here no newes of it I will come sooner againe. Hodge Tary so much, good master Doctor of your gentlenes. D. Rat Then let vs hie vs inward, and Diccon speede thy busines. Dicon Now sirs do you no more, but kepe my counsaile iuste, And Doctor Rat shall thus catch, some good I trust, But mother Chat my gossop, talke first with all I must: For she must be chiefe captaine to lay the Rat in the dust. God deuen dame Chat in faith, and wel met in this place. Chat God deuen my friend Diccon, whether walke ye this pace? Diccon By my truth euen to you, to learne how the world goeth, Hard ye no more of the other matter, say me now by your troth Chat O yes diccon, here the olde hoore, & hodge that great knaue But in faith I would thou hadst sene, o lord I drest them braue She bare me two or three souses behind in the nape of the necke Till I made hir olde wesen, to answere againe kecke And Hodge that dirty dastard, that at hir elbow standes, If one paire of legs had not bene worth two paire of hands He had had his bearde shauen, if my nayles wold haue serued And not without a cause, for the knaue it well deserued. Diccon By the masse I can the thank wench, yu didst so wel acquite the Chat And thadst seene him Diccon, it wold haue made ye beshite the For laughter. The horsen dolt at last caught vp a club, As though he would haue slaine the master deuil Belsabub, But I set him soone inwarde. iccon O Lorde there is the thing That Hodge is so offended, that makes him starte and flyng Chat Why? makes the knaue any moyling, as ye haue sene or hard iccon Euen now I sawe him last, like a mad man he farde, And sware by heauen and hell, he would a wreake his sorowe And leue you neuer a hen on hue, by viii. of the clock to morow, Therfore marke what I say, and my wordes see that ye trust Your hens be as good as dead, if ye leaue them on the ruste. Chat The knaue dare as wel go hang himself, as go vpon my ground Diccon We1 yet take hede I say, I must tel you my tale round, Haue you not about your house, behind your fumace or leade. A hole where a crafty knaue, may crepe in for neade? Chat Yes by the masse, a hole broke down, euen wtin these ii. dayes. Diccon Hodge, he intendes this same night, to slip in there awayes. Chat O christ that I were sure of it, in faith he shuld haue his mede. Diccon Watch wel, for the knaue wil be there as sure as is your crede I wold spend my selfe a shilling: to haue him well. Chat I am as glad as a woman can be, of this thing to here tell By gogs bones when he commeth, now that I know the matter He shal sure at the first skip, to leape in scalding water: With a worse turne besides, when he will, let him come. Diccon I tell you as my sister, you know what meaneth mum, Now lacke I but my doctor, to play his part againe. And lo where he commeth towards, Peraduenture to his paine. D. Rat What good newes Diccon? fellow, is mother chat at home, Diccon She is syr, and she is not, but it please her to whome: Yet did I take her tardy, as subtle as she was. D. Rat The thing that thou wentst for, hast thou brought it to passe? Diccon I haue done that I haue done, be it worse, be it better. And dame Chat at her wyts ende, I haue almost set her. D. Rat Why hast thou spied the neele quickly I pray thee tell Diccon I haue spyed it in faith sir, I handled my selfe so well, And yet the crafty queane, had almost take my trumpe. But or all came to an ende, I set her in a dumpe: D. Rat How so I pray thee Diccon? Diccon Mary syr will ye heare? She was clapt downe on the backside, by cocks mother dere And there she sat sewing a halter, or a bande, With no other thing saue gammers nedle in her hande, As soone as any knocke, if the filth be in doubte, She needes but once puffe, and her candle is out:. Now I sir knowing of euery doore the pin, Came nycely, and said no worde, till time I was within, And there I sawe the neele, euen with these two eyes, Who euer say the contrary, I will sweare he lyes. D. Rat O Diccon that I was not there, then in thy steade. Diccon Well, if ye will be ordred, and do by my reade, I will bring you to a place, as the house standes. Where ye shall take the drab, with the neele in her handes D. Rat For Gods sake do so Diccon, and I will gage my gowne To geue thee a full pot, of the best ale in the towne, Diccon Fo11ow me but a litle, and marke what I will say. Lay downe your gown beside you, go to, come on your way. Se ye not what is here? a hole wherin ye inay creepe Into the house, and sodenly vnwares among them leape, There shal ye finde the Bitchfox, and the neele together Do as I bid you man, come on your wayes hether. D. Rat Art thou sure diccon, the swil tub standes not here aboute. Diccon I was within my selfe man euen now, ther is no doubt, Go softly, mike no noyse giue me your foote sir John, Here will I waite wpon you tyl you come out anone. D. Rat Helpe Diccon, out alas, I shal be slaine among them Diccon If they giue you not the nedle, tel them that ye will hang them Ware that, hoow my wenches, haue ye caught the Fuxe, That vsed to make reuel, among your hennes and Cocks:. Saue his life yet for his order. though he susteine some paine Gogs bread, I am afraide, they wil beate out his braine D. Rat Wo worth the houre that I came heare. And wo worth him that wrought this geare, A sort of drabs and queanes haue me blest, Was euer creature halfe so euill drest? Who euer it wrought, and first did inuent it, He shall I warrant him, erre long repent it, I will spend all I haue without my skinne But he shall be brought to the plight I am in, Master Bayly I trow and he be worth his eares, Will snaffle these murderers and all that them beares, I will surely neither byte nor suppe Till I fetch him hether this matter to take vp