The Vegas Dance of Death

We're all of us deceased, released from this poor mortal coil
And in our rage to reach this stage we've cleared six feet of soil!
We hope the _danse Macabre_ we do will draw the critics' raves,
Since otherwise it won't be worth our walking from our graves!

We know our odor's rather rank, and hope you'll not take whiffs,
But give we grateful dead a break, we're all just working stiffs!
And though our act may lack a brain, it's still got lots of heart,
Not even old Napoleon could rip our bone apart!

They tried to hire vampires and won't do that again.
It seems they've sucked the market dry, or something in that vein.
No ghosts could make the show tonight, and though they've tried the
     schools,
They couldn't find a one that would admit both boys and ghouls!

If we performed before "the end," we seem to have forgotten.
But we might have, although more than our memories are rotten!
It's nice to know that vaudeville survived its own demise,
And as for us, we've always known it pays to exorcise!

We look like something out of Lovecraft, King, or Peter Straub.
Our mummies hoped that we'd not wind up with this sort of job.
We take it smiling, losing face, we can't do more than grin,
And people want to take our place--they're dying to get in!

There's none too many acts like us, you don't see zombies often!
So that you all may hear our song, we'll ask you (please!) no coffin. 
We're here to dance, we're here to sing, we're here to make you laugh,
We've tried much harder than some guy with some gag epitaph!

We know we've aged a little bit, our figures show some warps,
But none of us will quite admit we're rotten to the corpse.
We're the Undead, our race is sped, a horrid sight to view,
But still we're here, from far and near, to do our dance for you!

You've prob'ly never heard about a "song and dance" of death,
And though our voices show decay, we never pause for breath!
We've done our best to make this good, we've really really tried!
But in each town we've played so far our act has gone and died!

But we had best go end this bit and let them clear the room,
Yet when you think of us, admit:  No silence in this tomb!
We'd really better stop this now, or you'll get a surprise--
You think we're grotesque, just see how we look after sunr...