--- A M Y   H O L M A N

	after paintings by Philippe Vasseur

You were home asleep 
so you arrived only as a sketch 
on my afternoon. 
I walked away as you sat 
looking at the sea. 
I really want to be with you 
and I walked away.

*
I dreamt my lean dog 
died while I was far away 
because someone 
shocked me 
by thinking I was cruel. 
My lean retriever is a dusty one lane 
road, he disappears in being 
alike. Weeks 
after my misleading 
dream, he’s been very 
reassuring, appearing in outline 
on every street I lonely walk. 
When I wounded 
my right foot he started 
favoring his lefts, 
appearing in being alike. 

*
The rails my brother 
always liked end broken by the sea. 
After inviting me 
over, he and his wife 
keep talking to each other, 
and I could be a photograph. 
I took the train. Only now to I see 
the rails curving around a bend 
ended, we passengers riding 
into our versions of life.

*
A man brushes 
against another man down 
at the port of call; he is unfinished 
and that is the freight 
the brother carries by being 
complete. It figures that 
this is how I’ve learned to love, 
lingering too long for a way 
to be retrieved when I’m not gone.

*
No explanation is offered for 
keeping broken track, yet here I am 
keeping track of broken ties, 
tense, furious. I have been trained 
to disappear to reappear, 
a perfect present for anyone 
looking. I’m nearly there. 
What I rail against is broken by the seen.