Excerpts From To Whom Returns To Naas
"An immigrant is an unenlightened ignoramus, who thinks one country better than another." Ambrose Bierce.
Manhattan 1/21/95, I came to France in 1950, 1 was 17 years old, my mother hardly sent me any money; she has sold me and stolen my heritage!
Without mother love, I was taken care by nannies and aunts. My sister hates me. I sucked my grandma titties until I go to school, 6 years old (Jesuit Prep.) I was spoiled; in the evenings try to spell the alphabet by the pupitre, sat across the amah who spilling out two alabaster melons feeding my half-brother, as soon she put the little turd to sleep I jump on top of her, my head buried in her chest and I play dead for while.
"Who sees the difference in the body and soul don't have neither." O.Wilde
From 6 to 12, I always slept in large bed accommodated to 6 peoples, I lay between 2 aunts (father side); the younger 20 always make sure I am around when she changes her panties, looking at hairless pink hot tuna is one of my day's highlight, the older 32 widow snoring strong and most of the time when I waked up finding my hand resting on her Vesuve.
My great-aunt: chiffon by Balenciaga, Schipiarelli hats, take me anywhere but never chez Patou ou Delamain etc... she said : mon cheribibi, those precious men want your body: I capish later on that they want my culito.
"Only the shallows know themselves." O. Wilde
Walking through the petrified forest called life beside the women, I did some metiers to enhance my status: street vendor, typographer, bar-boy, busboy, very good waiter, very snob maitre d', remnants baler lost 25 pounds in no time... ouch for my hernia, barkeeper make good money sending son to Lycee Francais but every medal has 2 faces: John Barleycorn got hold of my finance, body, soul and spirit! ...taxi driver, yellow cab (holder of a world record never equal in earth life time: 5 summons issued in one day) ... artist in residence, designer of the Gaelic alphabet (15 letters) in calligraphy and in the tree language, art teacher, gigolo, 3 cushions billiard shooter, nom de guerre "chinito pollo" and do art 4000 year backward.
Une soiree, entrant Cafe Flore, seeing 1 brunette with green eyes full of freckles, slender pretty as Debra Paget, something as a changeling she buys 2 drawings as she mentions that she had watching me for a some time... A week after I saw her at La Rhumerie, sat at the table with a commoner she asks me to sit and offer me a drink, as I put the potato booze down my throat, I feel her light foot atop of mine, so I assume she want to play house with Rudolph Vaselino, so we made a date. The Dit-Day come... she is late, as Mohammed said : If the Mount Chauve don't come to me, I come to the mountain. Her chambre de bonne was all dark few candles, all veils, incenses. I had a twinge inside, spooky feeling that my head is on the block for the guillotine or I am a lamb sacrify for the black mass; but when I gave a leer to her kimono ajar, then I know I am for a voyage with no return to the moon! Her complexion scented of saffron and almond, her boobies: 2 tangerines, a bony corps like a young boy. Her name is Dagmar Webb. 32 springs, father Gaelic, mother walkyrie and...here I go ompahpah for the souper du roi! Mouth to mouth, I am into her lips as 2 ripped Corinthian raisins, her Pandora box flesh smells a faint air of gorgonzola mama mia, c'est si bon then I gave my life in her petit trou. The battle lasts all night, I was not quite free through and...
Obviously the Italian food is the best in the world; look at the masterpieces they caca out, but when an Empire goes imbecile then I look at the game they play, I was at Lord's watching cricket game I fell asleep, then in the States at the baseball-action I get bore, Harvard man told me: They invent this game for the beer drinker, (tu pige) too slow. The Humane Society don't agree with me if I line up 5 singes play basketball against 7 feet tall bipeds, unfair to mankind, maybe we could use some elephantine to play quarterbacks to jazz up the game of football. South Korea is reckon as big world power; their game is 3 cushions billiard. I play this game for 40 years to become a bum player!
Sexless people transmits nothing. D.-H. Lawrence
Termites has been around since the dawn of mankind, they gnaw, make manure, eat, copulate, produce descendants, but men make art, so I go to art school. Ecole Superior du Design is near the house of Victor Hugo, in the Marais district, a sort of evening class for aspirant artists. I like because it is free and termites has been around since the dawn of mankind, they gnaw, make manure, eat, copulate, produce descendants, but men make art, so I go to art school. Ecole Superior du Design is near the house of Victor Hugo, in the Marais district, a sort for young students mostly, they have models; males and females, I enroll in a drawing class.
"Work is the curse of the drinking class." O. Wild
"Art is useless." Malcom X
I made a hit, my lucky star heavily fell on my head again! A woman 15 years younger has say yes to me. She is an ideal wife, she works in a museum, her house spotless, like to cook Chinese cuisine her way! Fond of French food, every time we went to restaurant, she always orders: grilled brain or cervelle braise; no wonder: she is a genius. An American original, her sculpture is of an unique style and vision. A plus: she is a JAP, father Tartar juif, mother a Whitney and nobody told me about it and I will be in pains later on!...We get along fine, an artist understand an another much easier...it help because we both like... beer, she is a real genius and I am a self-confessed genius; no conflict!
"After love making, woman becomes virgin again. " N. Kazantzakis
One day I took her to a local bar: the barkeeper told me that H. is persona non grata, and they don't serve china man here! Ca alors!... Monsignor ABS told me to keep a low profile, don't make wave...so I don't pull out my compact Uzi...calmly I told the barman: Well, I want one drink but I don't think you carry this brand, "me want drink protein"...Suddenly the barman look at me as he is seeing St George slaying the dragon and he gave a shout: "Hey fellas, got a hold of it, this china man converse to me in Gaelic!... Instantly I become an Honorary Irishman and the owner steps out, shakes my hand, with a look seem like he give me the key of the Tara village!
My first contact with an Irish blue bloodhound is Gloria. Her first husband a Lord who dies in 2nd war, front line in Normandy, 2nd husband famous actor specialist in Beckett, dies by the sauce. Rumors that I am bedding around, she decides that she must have me! Flew in from London, she royal performance me in the Algonquin Bar, her twang upper crust trumpet and all commoners around know their rank! her daughter Tara so pretty after giving a kiss went up to rest, so the mother and I have all the time to yenta. She could drink so do I. Separated from my 2nd wife, I live at the penthouse of J. Gilman, Waverly cozy place, and I took Gloria here, she is a dirty blond; tall and bigger than I, she fulfilled my gluttony and I satisfied her caprices. I am not difficult, I only take the best!.. I wish I am a lice so I could imbibe the scent of her golden fleece!
"The form of government most suitable to an artist is no government at all. Authority over him and his art is ridiculous." O. Wilde, 1891.
Breakfast with eggs, kidney and skippers solid food...lunch with Galway oysters, Irish stew and evening leg of lamb-rosemary all of those arose with Claret! Champagne...
My 2nd German connection is Gabriella, widow of an American General Air Force, German stock but few generations back. She is clean and smell good as Bebe Cadum even when she was soaked with sake. Joseph Kuhrajec pass her to me. One evening, a group: Malfi the CPA, Joe and Gabby come to my place, 15th St. west side to se my painting. Joe ate everything, clean out my ice-box, Malfi made plan for me to the next mangele in a new trattoria, only Gabby looks at my barbouille, she bought 1, pay half and the rest she will pay when I delivery the work. In the bed room, to seal the sale and honor the good taste I pull her belt toward me and slide my hand under the elastic of her panty. My God she is soaked wet like the Rhine in inundation, my middle finger enter as a glove, her swollen labias-calamari sucks up my fingers as they are lollipops, she wobbles I must hold her, I pull out my finger coated with thin syrup I tasted, it smell like fresh duck's blood and a scent of a 4 year old girl; amber water! it was deliciously invigorating! My relationship with her was strained because she is an frustrated artist, creator of design jewels and all the bigoudis... but in the long run John Barleycorn get a hold of her...I always remember the floral scent of her body transfigured me as I see some healthy walkyries in the movie by Riistensfald.
We flew to Madrid and stay at the Ritz Hotel, visiting the Prado. I was overwhelmed by the huge number of the Flemish paintings they "borrowed" (looted) in the Orange war! Mesmerized by the Maja of Goya and the energy come out from the collection, it give the headache, so I need a drink. Sat by outdoor cafe in the plaza, We try the annanas filled with tequila, and coconut stored with rum! 2 of theses make you a tipsy! guaranty...One noon I sat with a Cuba Libra plus a tray with tapas, Looked up I saw a woman make a pas-de-deux, opened her limbs I perceived that she don't wear any panty, and she has something hairy attractive at the groin, I told my companion the fact, so V said : so what, too hot to wear anything and there is for you: something for your lunch, she lift her leg and I see a big red hot wetted chorchar blinking at me: I hurry up V to the hotel and give her an appropriated punishment for daring: show me this unkind thing to my face! by that I tied her up to the bed pods and smacked her tush with the thorny roses I found by the vase at the night table! to soothe her pains I brilliantly put my meaty thermometer in her ojete without mayonnaise, ni vaseline! she called later: an uncouth midget...always make her cry!
"Man without alcohol is like a flag without wind." Vietnamese saying
Bulimic woman loves food but rejected it later, so while she threw up the aliment what you can do to compensate the tragic loss is to put your hard engine into her eloquent chute exit, she will be pleased and commandeer for more!
I have nothing against the Gay tribal, or their life style! There is no sin, only stupidity! I was stupid once I could live with a rich and handsome man, but it is not the same make love to a man as to the woman. Actor Antonio Banderas has said once in the movie!
A man went to bed with a guy, then again with an older man; said he is not a queer, but he want a second opinion! Duke
One of my fun time and drinking partner is FaithP. She is tall and poise woman, waspish, art librarian by career, she speaks several foreign languages. How I met her is strange! At many openings she bumps to me and keep asking if I am Wallasse Ting, I get upset: I ask did she slept with the guy; she said nope, then I said Ting is my little brother--that arouse her curiosity, then we go to the bar. The bar is good device to break down the resistance of the woman's establishment, the more snob or upper crust: the hard they are curious about the lower appendages of the commoner. Dry Martinis is her drug of choice, for me anything with alcohol will calm or trigger my temper for panties hoarded! Few rounds we get along great because she and I start to habla franchise! She was married before so do I and she said she want to fix dinner for me at her place! Palming at her well endowed jugs and her compact tuche I think she could have a talent to fried an egg for me, so we hopped to a taxi for her Upper West side: for further probe on her libido big derriere. She cooks but due to martinis intake, food is burnt. It is OK as long she has the booze. Then I passed out; by 5am I was awaked, found her asleep in the king size bed, titties, belly out I check her out to see if Bacchus leaves her helpless so I can help her out...as soon I touch she resists, wriggling, I make a Nelson arm lock then she stay possum; she resists but mildly; what I react strongly is the intense scent emanated from her meaty kiln covered with dirty blond poils: I expected to smell something like "Je Reviens by Nina Riquiqui"
This odor thicken as fume and violently tangy as the Vietnamese shrimp sauce "nuoc mam" this odor of sexy putrefaction has keep long time colonialist and G.I 's longer in Vietnam and they loved so much that you must kick their asses to make them to leave! matter of fact if a water buffalo inhale this dish: it put him out cold pronto faster than a dumdum bullet. Extreme attracts: must I enter myself to this lower deeps of hell: as I face the gas chamber: I came out quite fine like step out from the 6th dimension and the sticky vital
"I can resist to anything, except temptation." O. Wilde.
fluid of her pisseuse stacked it to my hair, ears all over my fuck face. I am late for work, can not fresh up myself just a giggle of brandy; then I jumped to the bus cross-town. While try find a big lie to say where I was last night, the woman sat next to me beheaded me with her look, then I realize that my BO stinks oozed out odor of copulation, or Roucoulous cheese; but the girl standing in front of me: see me with an accomplice eye, the way she sways her hips like she dumps her steak tartar at my kisser!