--- S T E V E N   J .  S T E W A R T

Can you think of a synonym for "voyeur"?  Common people (kids especially,
the audience for villancicos) don't even know what frankincense is,
but they can appreciate a good bit of chocolate.  My dad called my love
life a funeral.  We sat together and wept.  I'm back to the heresy thing.
Pedantic double-talk isn't what it used to be.  Arguing that Asians are
displaced Israelites, she said, "When you look at really evil
countries like Thailand and India, you realize they must have the blood of
Israel.  Only people with a lot of potential for holiness can be evil like
that."  What the hell?  When you were with Ruth, you were a bastard.  That
"Yo me remendaba" song is just about gitanos stealing the
diapers off the baby Jesus.  I don't suggest you use talk of golden
wee-wees as a litmus test when meeting women.  Everything after the word
"incest" in the last letter was a lie.  He said I was born to process
eggs.  When I told her that Scrabble was evil, she held my grandma down
and started tickling her.  Title: Tres mejicanos y un recuerdo
sacramental.  Self-aware shallowness isn't shallow.  That's my new
mantra.  I expect you to be married by the time your plan lands in the U.
S.  Get some rabbi to do it.  But you need to start thinking she's
attractive. I would rescind all the bad things I said about you, but since
I qualified what I said I really don't have to, do I?  How's your urine
lately?